It’s the toughest time of year for VCE students who are right in the middle of exams and facing intense pressure to do their best. I remember it myself like it was yesterday and now I’m watching my son Tom go through the same ordeal. But is it the same? Is it worse for students these days because competition to get into tertiary courses is more fierce or is it all relative?
With so much media focus on how difficult a time it is for students, I thought I’d try and get some answers from some teenagers themselves. That can be hard – particularly with young men – so I decided to take Tom (who has just turned 18) out to lunch, along with my sixteen-year-old nephew, Jesper, who is facing Year 10 exams, to ask them first-hand how they are coping. Which they found highly amusing…
JEN: Jesper, you’re going through exams right now. Is it intense?
JESPER: I think it’s pretty low key because it’s not relevant to my VCE score. It’s the last year where it doesn’t count. And the subjects I’m doing now, I’m not doing next year, apart from English, so it doesn’t matter so much. I can just cruise through.
JEN: Have you got an idea about what you want to do after school yet? Is there a lot of pressure to make up your mind early on?
JESPER: There is a lot of pressure with teachers asking you what you want to do. For me, I think it will be interior design. Or maybe… no, I think interior design.
(I’m very impressed he knows already!)
JEN: And Tom you’re right in the middle of Year 12 exams. How are you finding it?
TOM: It’s a pleasure to be here. (heavy sarcasm and comedic tone) Jennifer, great question firstly, and thank you again for having me here.
JEN: If you’re going to be a politician, you’re going to have to stop the avoidance tactics and learn to answer the question. Oh hang on, no, you’ll be a great politician… So HOW ARE YOU COPING with the pressure of exams?
TOM: Another good question. No, it’s a lot of pressure. These are last exams I’ll ever do at school. Lot of people make you feel like you’re whole future is hanging in the balance when you go into those exams, so yes, a lot of pressure. You’re hands shake a bit when you’re writing answers sometimes, so a decent amount of pressure.
JEN: You told me about one of your mates who was so terrified before an exam that he couldn’t even face being near his friends before walking in to the exam room…
TOM: Yes, one of my friends had to go off into a classroom to be by himself and try and calm down. Then he came outside the exam room where we were all huddled, having a chat, and my friend took himself into a corner. His hands were together his head was down his eyes were closed and it looked like he was praying. So he looked very stressed.
A lot of kids are also really exhausted from studying so much. They put pressure on themselves to do well. And there are a lot of stories about kids having problems with their parents – not getting along at all. The parents want them to study harder and get so angry that a couple of boys have run away from home.
TOM: Just atrocious. I’ve detested every second I’ve spent with them. (He’s smiling, so it’s okay…) No, in all seriousness, they’ve been good. Very reasonable expectations – not too much pressure. Although occasionally when I come downstairs to have a break and I’m at the table eating, my mother will say, ‘Gee, study’s going well,’ which is perhaps a bit unfair. Especially at 10.30 at night.
JEN: I’m sorry. I think I said that when I came home after being out so thought you’d been taking it easy all night. Sorry. Jesper, let’s get back to you… (and avoid Tom’s home truths- ouch!) Jesper, when you hear Tom talk about Year 12, does that worry you or do you think you’ll be fine?
JESPER: I think I’ll probably be more relaxed. I’m probably not the brightest kid out there, but at least I know what I want to do so I can focus on that. (He is very bright – and modest!)
JEN: And you’ve got better social skills which is a huge plus.
JEN: No, I wasn’t comparing him to you. Just saying that he’s better with people than your average bookworm academic-type. He’s a charmer and that will be a huge plus when he’s persuading clients to take on his interior design work. (much laughter)
TOM: Well, you can’t study for that.
JEN: No, but Tom you’re a charmer too. You have heaps of friends! What are you all planning to do after your last exam to celebrate?
TOM: Just go back to a friend’s house and have a quiet cup of tea and biscuits while we recount stories about school then go home at 9pm and go to bed and have a nice relaxed time. (more laughter)
JEN: Right… So is there much excitement about the end being near?
TOM: Yes, I just got a message from Ted on the way here – a group chat – saying only ‘Nine more days, fellas.’ We’re all looking at the calendar. I have a countdown clock on my computer till the final exam so it will be a fantastic feeling when we finally finish.
JEN: And what do you want to do career-wise?
TOM: Be a stay-at-home parent.
JEN: Oh nice. So how many grandchildren will I be having?
TOM: I’m looking at between 17 and 21.
JEN: So you’re planning to move out of home?
TOM: I’m planning to live with my parents forever.
JEN: You might need to get a job to feed that many tiny mouths.
TOM: Both my parents are in the media so I’ll be fine.
Jesper offers Tom some advice on their radio show together
JEN: And I think Jesper could be in the business too.
TOM: Well, this is where Jesper and I want to announce our new radio show together. Actually it’s a podcast.
JESPER: Yes, we’re going to be stars.
JEN: Okay, but can you just get through exams first?
BOTH: Sure.
JEN: Then you can be stars. Thanks guys, Good chat. Now get back to the books.
Well I think that went quite well. A few stories about the rigours of Year 12, but ultimately I think Tom’s coping brilliantly. I’m incredibly proud of the hard work he’s put in consistently all year and the marks he’s already achieved.
Good luck Tom for the last two exams next week!
But while it’s been a tough year for VCE students, it’s also been hard on the parents.
Now I’m working on the More Music Brekkie Show with Mike Person at smoothfm, we’ve been chatting all year about both having sons in Year 12 and what we are all going through. Good luck to Will as well!
And while our sons will be letting of steam at the end of it all with SCHOOLIES, we thought it was time to give the parents a special celebration to mark the end of a tough year as well.
So that’s why we’re organising a ‘PARENTIS’ night – next week. If you also have a teenager studying VCE, you can join us AND be in the running to win a trip to India! – See more at: http://www.smoothfm.com.au/station/smooth915/show/mike-perso#sthash.bfBSW3rh.dpuf
In fact, Alinta is so inspirational, I now refer to her as ALINTA THE GURU when I chat about her wonderful fitness tips on air with Mike Perso on the SmoothFM More Music Breakfast Show.
I decided to go back to the gym because I knew if I didn’t commit to working out WITH SOMEONE ELSE on a regular basis, I’d never have the will power to do it on my own. And I was about ten kilos overweight… Early morning radio is not good for the waistline!!
Alinta is 33 years old and has been a personal trainer for about 18 months.
When she hit thirty, Alinta felt it was time for a career change. She’d been working in the hospitality industry for a long time and the lifestyle was taking a toll.
After suffering some health issues of her own, she was inspired by a girlfriend to take up weight training and had a….
HUGE LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!
‘I thought this is great and everyone should be doing it. I became quite passionate about weight training. IT’S THE HOLY GRAIL! I couldn’t believe I hadn’t done it before and thought it was amazing.’
REALLY??? When I heard this from Alinta three months ago, I was skeptical. You see, I’d returned to the gym out of a feeling of necessity and duty – not because I thought it would be the answer to my prayers.
Turns out, Alinta has helped me to make some big changes to my body and I am starting to see what she’s talking about. Everything she has been saying is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and makes complete sense.
In a nutshell, here are the benefits of weight training, according to Alinta The Guru.
Alinta’s enthusiasm is infectious too. She really does LOVE her job and our chats during the work out sessions make the time spent at the gym fun as well. Here’s how our conversation about weight training went:
JEN: SO tell my why I should work out?
ALINTA: There are SO many benefits from weight training. Not only does it make you stronger physically, I believe it makes you stronger mentally as well. It’s a discipline. As well, you are pushing yourself to your limits each time. If you manage to get through a tough session, it’s a good feeling and you feel like you’ve achieved something. It’s a win! The more wins the better. Each workout is a win.
JEN: Have you been able to see results with your clients?
ALINTA: I’ve been getting some great results. Nothing makes me happier than when clients come to me and say they don’t have back pain anymore or they’re losing the weight they want to lose. It’s why I do it – it’s so rewarding.
JEN: Do you ever get bored?
ALINTA: No! I love what I do and being able to change people’s lives for the better. That’s my mission in life. To help as many people as I can to become stronger, fitter, healthier and happier.’
(See? I told you she was a wonderful person!)
JEN: How does weight training help the body lose fat?
ALINTA: Lifting weights helps to build fast twitch muscles that raise your metabolism. The more muscle you have the more calories you burn at rest. There’s also the afterburner effect of exercise that can last for as long as 38 hours after your workout.
(I really like this point – that more muscle burns more calories – even when you’re NOT working out!)
JEN: What about the risks of becoming too muscle-bound? As a woman, I don’t want to look like a beefcake…
ALINTA: You won’t! It would take an enormous amount of hours to look like a body-builder. I also tailor individual programs for each client, so everyone’s workout is different. You can’t have a cookie cutter gym program for everybody.
JEN: One thing I love about working out with you is that you also manage to fix tight spots in my neck or back that are causing me problems. Do you do that for everyone or am I special?
ALINTA: Well, you are special but all the workouts are based on structural balance. That means it’s important to fix any structural abnormalities for any individual. Once your body structure is better, everything else will follow. Another reason why I love weight training so much is that I used to wake up with chronic neck and back problems every day before I started training properly and now I don’t get that at all.
JEN: What are the other health benefits?
ALINTA: Strength training does so much! It decreases blood pressure, improves heart function by increasing arterial function and decreasing inflammation. It also improves hormone levels by helping to eliminate oestrogen – which means less cancer risk and lower body fat.
It can also help if you’re trying to have a baby! Working with weights improves reproductive function.
Weight training can enhance the nervous system and gene pathways, with new evidence emerging evidence that shows how weight lifting prevents ageing by rebuilding damaged tissues. It also leads to better brain function and coordination of movement.
Jen: Cool! So I’m going to be stronger, brighter, younger, healthier AND smarter??
Alinta: Sure! And that is WHY weight training is the HOLY GRAIL!
So you can see why I’ve been converted! Since training with ALINTA THE GURU, I have lost more than five kilos and feel much healthier and more toned than I have for years. Nor do the sessions every get dull, as Alinta changes my program about every six weeks.
Alinta also has plenty of clever tips about healthy eating. And drinking! But this Blog is long enough already, so let’s save that advice for another chat.
And if you’d like to work out with ALINTA THE GURU, here’s her details. Get ready to feel fantastic!
It’s hard to believe it was more than a year ago that I wrote a Blog explaining why I’d be taking a blogging respite. If you’d like a re-cap for all the reasons why, you can take a look here:
Otherwise, let’s push on, because I have an announcement.
FINALLY MY BOOK IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED
Yes, I needed that Blogging break to get it finished.
That it’s finally being published is extremely exciting because it’s been a dream of mine since childhood.
Right now I am extremely time-poor as it’s my last week to work on the FINAL edit of the manuscript. A laborious and challenging task but also thrilling because the light is at the end of the tunnel.
I’m going to write more about the writing process and what changes are happening in the world of publishing down the track, but for now, this is just a quick post to give you a sneak preview of the cover of my book.
It’s a work of fiction – completely made up – about a young television reporter named Rachel Bentley who aspires to be a newsreader. You see, working as a TV reporter has it’s challenges but aiming high leads to a whole minefield of explosive scenarios.
Rachel’s path sees her pitched against egos in the newsroom, office politics and corrupt politicians, not to mention rampant sexism and a mystery stalker. Juggling a messy personal life doesn’t help either. Not does the emotional impact of reporting on life’s daily tragedies and when it all takes a toll and Rachel starts partying too hard, she finds herself making the headlines instead of reading them. Will she survive a world where dreams are shattered daily and will she find the man who can help her keep her soul?
You’ll have to wait to read the book to find out of course!
I’m delighted MAKING HEADLINES is to be published by HARPER COLLINS PUBLISHERS who are Australia and New Zealand’s oldest publishing house and arguably, the most respected.
My book will be available online as one of the Harper Collins Impulse books from late January, 2016. Stay tuned for more info and an exact date soon….
(Otherwise titled, Are superstitions are rubbish???)
Sometimes I think I spend too much time looking for ‘signs’ – the sort of indicators that something you’re either hoping for OR NOT – will or won’t happen. My adored Grandmother – who lived with us while I was growing up, probably helped instil this.
Some superstitions she taught me you might know – like throwing a dash of salt over your left shoulder if it spilled, avoiding the number 13 and not walking under ladders. One you might not know is to make sure that the first word you utter every month is RABBITS. I’m not exactly sure why, but Grandmother insisted it would bring you good luck for that month if you did.
Having said RABBITS on the first of this month, this weekend just past was the perfect time to put that theory to the test.
I was heading up to the Gold Coast for the annual ACRA awards – the Australian Commercial Radio Awards – because by some miracle – I’d been nominated for an award. Even more surprising was the category – Best Newcomer in metropolitan radio. Nothing better than being called a ‘Newcomer’ when you’re over forty! (cough, cough…)
It WAS a genuine surprise because I hadn’t entered myself – instead our show’s producer – Lauren Saylor – had thrown my name in the mix – going to the trouble of filling in the forms and finding the right audio segments to make up an entry – all unbeknownst to me. So a VERY big thank you to Lauren. The first I knew of it was waking up to a host of congratulatory text messages on a Sunday morning a couple of months ago.
Apart from being part of a group Logie win for a news story, I’ve never been up for an award of any kind in my life (let’s not count school stuff) so I was naturally very chuffed. Of course, after the initial excitement wore off, the self-doubt set in and I started to tell myself there was no way I’d win – but hang on, I’d said RABBITS so maybe there was a chance???
On the day, I looked for signs. The pigeons were cooing when I woke up. Tick. The taxi driver who took me to the airport had SMOOTHfm 91.5 on the radio. Tick. When I arrived at the Hilton Hotel at Surfers Paradise, they had me in Room 13. NO WAY. They changed it for me and I thought, smugly, FOUR signs! Rabbits, pigeons, music AND the right room number!
I even managed to get into my dress after months of dieting and didn’t spill any makeup getting ready. TWO more ticks.
I walked through the room brimming with confidence, We met up with friends and posed on the red carpet. Along with some of the interstate news readers we happily smiled for the cameras.
But then I walked into the room, looking for my table. And walked and walked… So far, until I was right at the back of the room. Literally. There was a blank wall behind me. I don’t think there was a worse table position in the entire room. And that’s when I knew rabbits was wrong…
Why would they announce a winner who took three hours to walk to the stage?
And luckily the entertaining and fabulous Ty Frost was on hand to make sure we kept ourselves ‘nice’ as the long-list of awards was read out – helped along by the very talented MC efforts of actor Stephen Curry.
So when the winner of Best Newcomer was announced – Triple Ms Paul Gallen, I wasn’t surprised. But I was also hit by a realisation.
Just because I didn’t win the award didn’t mean the SIGNS had been wrong. I WAS a winner. I’d been nominated for a NATIONAL award at the ACRAS.
Whatever the outcome, that is indeed something to be proud of. The signs had been right all along. So I had a brilliant night celebrating, but managed to be well-behaved enough so that I could wake up the next morning with a smile on my face and take a lovely walk along the beach at Surfers Paradise. Now that’s a win, whichever way you look at it. 🙂
It’s hard to believe I took a break from Blogging more than a year ago to finish my book and now it seems timely to re-start the engine. While I do have some good news about my book, I’m going to save that for another day.
Instead, I want to pay tribute to my dear friend Rochelle, who we farewelled with a special service yesterday. The hardest goodbye of all…
To Rochelle’s family, to Russell – her partner of 19 years – and to all her friends, my sincerest sympathies. We all feel her loss so deeply.
Many subscribers to this Blog will remember Rochelle as the beautiful model who posed for any Fashion Posts we covered and I have so many happy memories of those times we spent together. I was also glad to have so many lovely photos of her that we could use for the service to remind everyone of her stunning smile that could light up any room in a flash.
Hundreds turned out yesterday for Rochelle’s farewell that was held at Brighton’s Baptist Church. So many people came that the church was overflowing with crowds spilling on to the street. She would have loved that.
Inside the Order of Service, Rochelle’s partner of 19 years, Russell, told of how much he loved Rochelle and how much he will miss her.
The words below are from the tribute I read at the church. Along with several dear friends, we stood side by side to talk of our love for Rochy, shared stories, tears and many hugs.
And finally said Goodbye….
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Writing is something Rochelle and I both loved. Telling stories and finding the right words to express ourselves. Which also meant lots of swearing and being outrageous. We even started our own writing workshop. A couple of other writers joined us. Some came, some went but we were the two main-stayers.
Which is why I have to apologise to Rochelle that this tribute I’ve written isn’t really up to scratch. That’s because I haven’t spent enough time on it. I had the time on the weekend. I could have spent hours. But I kept putting it off. And I know why. Because to write a farewell tribute to your dearest friend means they really have gone and that finality is something I still find so terribly hard to accept. Rochelle IS irreplaceable.
SO many shared emails which I now treasure and have spent hours collating so I can still hear her voice. At writing classes, teachers bang on about how important it is to ‘find your own unique voice’ Rochy had that instantly. A writing style that was direct and heart-wrenching with her own unique cutting-edge, wicked sense of humour.
Rochy spent several years working on writing her own book. Titled AnonyMS – it was a play on words that also incorporated the letters MS, as a reference to that disease which she so hated.
I went to hospital with Rochelle for the first of her monthly transfusions and shared the journey when she was on the road to being diagnosed.
It was a very painful time for her and one she documents in her book. I hope one day I will be able to, with Russell’s blessing, help collate the chapters we have together and have her book published in some form or another.
It was not long after her diagnosis in 2009 that I told Rochy I’d be going to LA and Vegas for a trip marking a film launch – a project I’d been involved in for some time. After going through such a rough patch – learning she had MS – Rochelle spoke longingly of how she too would like to visit those places.
When I look back on our friendship and see how much Rochy bought to my life, I will be forever grateful I was able to do at least one thing in return. Thanks to film producer Bobby Galinsky, we were able to make arrangements to include Rochelle on this trip and by God, it was indeed the trip of a lifetime.
We were both convinced we were MUCH better looking in LA, so armed with that boosted confidence, we took the town by storm and wreaked havoc. We teamed up with our good friend Krista and called ourselves the Three Amigos. So many adventures and great memories. As soon as we came home, we promised each other we’d do it all again.
There was so much we had in common that bound us together – as Rochelle described in an email, we were ‘besties’. Although another time, after seeing the musical, AVENUE Q, she described me as her BAD Ideas Bear, meaning I was the one who led her astray. Yeah, maybe, but I think she liked it.
Our common interests included a love of Rose gold jewellery and clothing, fully-oaked chardonnay, movies, Oscars, music, writing, books, karaoke, singing and champagne. It was Rochelle who named our favourite bubbly Moet and Hansen in my honour. I will forever call it that.
Rochelle was my biggest supporter of anything I did. She was one of only a few friends who’ve read the book I’ve written. She also came to Women Of Letters in the audience to support me when I delivered a challenging speech last year. She even presented me with a hand-written letter on the day, where she described me as ‘the bravest girl in the room.’
Not so brave today…. But how wonderful to have a friend who gives such positive and unconditional love and support.
Other friends of mine who met Rochelle – who are here today – like Sam, Julie and my sister Jill – also loved getting to know Rochelle – each saying the same thing – because she’s such a genuine person and doesn’t judge people.
Rochelle was so talented on so many levels. Her writing and her sharp wit for starters. Beautiful too – inside and out. She was a regular model for my Blog and shone in all the photographs – some of which you will see in the photo tribute shortly. What a smile and so photogenic.
She was a superb singer – the only one in the room when we had a karaoke night that people would actually stop talking for and listen to her sing – she was brilliant.
I saw the movie PAN on Sunday with my daughter. Peter’s mother leaves baby Pan on the doorstep of the orphanage with a note telling Peter to never lose faith, that she will see him again ‘In this world or another’
Rochy WILL always be in my thoughts in this world and I know later, when it’s my time, we’ll see each other in that OTHER world – wherever it is – a land where they only serve charonnay; where Tim Curry is singing at a Vegas-style party amid cats and laughter.
In one of her recent emails to me Rochelle finished up with saying ‘Love you dear friend of mine, till the end of time.’ Ditto my darling.
ANYONE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION OR NEEDS HELP FOR A LOVED ONE SHOULD CALL LIFELINE ON 13 11 14
