Apologies to any readers out there who may have been missing my blog posts and wondering why I’ve suddenly stopped writing. I think I started to realise I was spending too much time chained to the computer and not enough time ‘living’. Summer is drawing to a close and as a lover of warm weather, I want to get outdoors while I can and soak up the last of the summer rays.
On Sunday, I had a group of friends over and we sat by the pool, drinking wine, chatting and swimming. Heavenly. I think that’s the first time I’ve done that this summer which is ridiculous when I’m lucky enough to own a swimming pool. I’ve also spent a bit of time riding and walking in the sun – pondering life and it’s complexities. Necessary time out.
I haven’t posted a Blog since last week. I have been consumed by much emotionally – weighed down by the good and the bad – and weary from it all, that there’s been nothing left to put in to words.
(Plus, after running to demanding deadlines with a major charity event and blogging responsibilities, the house had fallen apart and needed a damn good spring clean. Cleaning is very cathartic for the soul.)
An older woman once warned me about getting involved in charity work. ‘Your friends will hate you, Jennifer,’ she said, raising her eyebrows and nodding sagely. Dismissing her words, I barrelled on through, taking on various roles with several organisations and blithely accepting offers to help. I am fortunate enough to be at a time in my life where I’m not working in a regular full-time job. Why wouldn’t I say ‘yes’ when asked to help with such worthwhile causes? And ‘There but for the Grace of God go I’ (even though I’m not religious) – that could be me one day down the track – with breast cancer, heart disease, or financially destitute.
I knew, sending out an invitation to a charity event such as we held last Thursday night for St Vincent’s Hospital, that there would be some friends who would open the email invitation, sigh, and swear – ‘Bloody hell. Not again. She’s (me) wanting us to go to some God-awful function and spend a fortune for a ticket. No frickin’ way. I’m SO over those things.’ You’re always going to get a few of those. The ones who love going to a free event but hate to fork out cash for something deemed ‘charity’ even when they’ll happily spend more than $100 on a regular night out. Or declare they’re just ‘tired’ of social occasions, as an excuse not to attend.
I know I should expect that and NOT place expectations on others. But deep inside, you can’t help but feel a little hurt when close friends let you down. Especially when you’ve talked about it for months, sent out ‘save the date’ emails and they know how important it is to you.
But then other friends go above and beyond your expectations and you love them all the more for their kindness. When they give, with both time and money, you feel more grateful than if they’d given their gifts to you personally.
I am going to write about the HEROES from that evening – exactly a week ago, on Valentine’s Day and I will post that later today. But for now, I just wanted to explain my absence. Now you know why.