While I do take my journalistic profession quite seriously, I have to admit it to having a bout of the giggles while interviewing my own husband. I mean, it does feel a bit ridiculous, after all, when you’ve been married for more than twenty years – to put a taping device between the two of you to start a process of ‘formal’ questioning…
Fletch wasn’t enamoured with the idea either. He even tried fobbing me off with a press release instead! Are you kidding? His own wife? There isn’t a self-respecting journalist on the planet that would do a story on the back of a mere media release. Well, except for the super-lazy and disinterested. I’ve got plenty of faults, but I’m not those.
This was an interview that HAD to be done properly. It’s all about Fletch’s new Christmas song – If You Want A Happy Christmas – out today on ITunes for a teensy-weensy $1.69. https://itun.es/i6Fb88M #iTunes
It’s an upbeat, catchy tune that will put you in the festive spirit, plus all the profits from the song will go to a wonderful charity, Blue September, to aid cancer research.
Fletch recorded the song with harmony singing sensations, The Pacific Belles, who also feature prominently in the video which can be seen on You Tube. The clip has already had more than 9,000 views. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMeRu-0q8E8
He even called on help from his ‘neighbours’ to take part in the video – with actors and great friends Stefan Dennis, Chris Milligan and James Mason joining in the shenanigans, playing the roles of a rather funky Santa and a couple of cheeky elves.
But enough from me. Let’s get straight into that interview. And just for the record, I call him ‘ALAN’, not Fletch in this interview, because I am, after all, a complete professional.
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JEN: So tell how you came up with the lyrics for your new song? ALAN: I’m happy to, but I’m only going to give you one shot at this because I know you’re very, very unreliable with recording interviews. So have you got a back up plan here?
(Okay, so maybe there have been technical glitches with a couple – just a couple – of interviews I’ve recorded on my IPhone that have had to be re-recorded…)
JEN: (laughter) Ah, only my fantastic memory. ALAN: Okay then, we’ll see how you go.
JEN: So, the lyrics? ALAN: The lyrics? Oh yes, right. Well, I personally am not a huge fan of the commercialisation of Christmas and so when I came to write a Christmas song, I wanted to do something that was fun but I wanted it to have a little bit of a message as well, and to shift the focus away from present-giving and back on to connecting with the ones you love.
JEN: Is this just a really elaborate way of you saying you’re NOT going to be buying me a present this year? ALAN: Yes. Yes, you’re getting nothin’ but a big, big smooch right under the mistletoe.
JEN: But what about the diamond hoop ear-rings I really want? (much laughter as of course, I would never expect something so expensive from my very un-materialistic husband) ALAN: Well, there’s plenty of rich bastards out there who will buy their wives diamond hoop ear-rings but that won’t get them anything. And you’re not going to get any.
JEN: Well, that’s just mean. ALAN: Move on.
JEN: Why were you reluctant to be interviewed by me? ALAN: Because you’re too invasive as an interviewer and you have a reputation for running with sleaze.
JEN: Rubbish! Give me an example. ALAN: Your cosmetic blogs. They’re full of sleaze.
(I have no idea what he is talking about…)
JEN: Well, what about your song with the line in it about kissing under the mistletoe with a MERRY HO? What does that mean? You want to pash a drunken whore under a green leaf? ALAN: Would you stop wasting my time?
JEN: No, this is my interview and I’m running it so just answer the question. Do you really think it’s appropriate we should be singing about drunken whores to our children at Christmas time? ALAN: Well, it’s better to sleep with a drunken whore than a sober one. JEN: Why? ALAN: Because they won’t remember you the next day.
JEN: Time to move on. So what measure of success do you need from this song to make all the hard work worthwhile? ALAN: I’d like it to have widespread distribution and recognition over the years – not just this year – and that I don’t make a loss.
JEN: So you want it to be played in shopping centres, at carols nights etc..? FLETCH: I would like it to be played wherever people feel festive. I think it’s a festive song with a really good hook and I think people will enjoy it.
JEN: It’s already being touted by the Daily Mirror as a potential Number One hit. That’s a good start, isn’t it? ALAN: That was very kind of them and if reaches Number One on the charts, I will be sending them a massive crate of French champagne.
JEN: Will I get any French Champagne? ALAN: You never said it was going to a Number One Hit. You told me it sounded like a Wiggles song.
JEN: The Wiggles are very successful. Do you think it would sell better if you’d made a whole album of Christmas songs? ALAN: And where the hell would I have found the time and money to do that?
JEN: Good point. It’s a very catchy song. Do you find it stays in your head? ALAN: I can’t stop singing it. I wake up singing it, I go to sleep singing it…
JEN: Do you hate it now? ALAN: I don’t hate it, but it haunts me. And everybody I have played it to has had the same reaction.
JEN: That’s called an earworm. Do you know that term? ALAN: I think you mean brain worm.
JEN: No, it’s an ear worm. ALAN: Okay, it’s an ear worm. Nice. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
JEN: I suppose you have to put the challenge out to everyone.Can you listen to this song twice without it being stuck in your head? ALAN: So that’s going to be the focus of you blog?
JEN: No, it’s going to be ‘Is he Mr Scrooge or Mr Christmas?’ ALAN: (laughter, rolls on the couch and falls off)
That’s the end of our interview. I quite enjoyed it. I should also mention that If You Want A Happy Christmas was performed by Steve Purcell’s Pearly Shells, written by Alan Fletcher/Tim Smith, produced & mixed by Robin Gray, and recorded at Allan Eaton Studios in Melbourne, Victoria.
So why not buy it today, help Fletch reach Number One on the charts and help a great cause at the same time? Oh, and let me know if you DO think this song really is an ear worm!
It always fascinates me how our children constantly challenge us and lead us to try new experiences we might never have considered ourselves. Take my daughter, for example, who’s now eighteen. As a child and young teenager, she would beg me to accompany her on the scariest rides at Movie World – like the Superman Ride… And I did.
The queue for the Superman Ride was long, but my fear made it move quickly. I was dreading boarding the carriages, convinced I’d become that one in a million chance statistic who was left hanging upside down mid-ride due to a technical failure. Of course, that never happened and I felt such an adrenalin rush from the G-force factor that once the ride was over, I immediately wanted to do it again and again.
From a tiny tot, Veronica has always had a passion for movies. As she grew older, that developed into a love of horror films. It didn’t really surprise me because I’d been the same at her age, until I saw Friday the 13th which took gore and blood-spattering to such an extreme level that I was put off horror for life. Veronica has since seen that too and declared it to be ‘lame and dated.’
So naturally she was over the moon with excitement when she saw the ads for the Cinema Nova Monster Fest – a 2-week celebration of horror films at the Carlton venue.
She booked a couple of sessions to see with friends but there was one experience she wanted to share with me. The ALL NIGHT MOVIE MARATHON screening of FIVE back-to-back Nightmare on Elm Street films. Really? A WHOLE night of horror starting from 11.30pm sounded spooky enough, let along having to endure ONLY Freddie Krueger in all his gluey-faced glory, mauling his victims for more than eight hours…
But she caught me in a moment of weakness, when she’d been dealt one of life’s disappointments. Wearing her sad face and asking ever so sweetly, I got sucked in.
The event was last night.
Now here’s a spooky photo. Just before the screening, I took this on my I-phone and because it’s not hugely flattering for Ronnie, I might not have posted it – but check out what my flash did to the eyes of a couple of the other patrons… That’s not regular ‘red eye’ – that’s just weird… It was a spooky start.
Like the Superman Ride, I was dreading this experience too. Not just because of the horror I knew would make me jump and squirm, but because of the SLEEP DEPRIVATION… I haven’t been drinking much coffee at all lately, but last night I had three large cups – straight, strong and black.
I was pleasantly surprised by the festive nature of the screening. There really was an air of excitement among ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ fans – some dressing up, others bringing bags packed with goodies, drinks and even dressing-gowns to get them through the night. There was also a trivia quiz at the end of each movie with prizes and lollies being handed out.
And it’s much funnier watching horror classics with diehard (‘scuse the pun) fans, because they will laugh uproariously in the most gory of moments because an actor’s bad line or lack of acting ability has since become infamous. (like Nancy’s mum in the first Nightmare movie – just appalling…)
It was also a wonderful irony that the movie’s major promotion line is ‘You’ll Never Sleep Again’. In the middle of our session, that’s kinda how I felt…
I had warned Veronica I might not be able to last the distance till 8.30am this morning. Even though she initially insisted she wanted to stay for ALL the movies, she agreed after the third movie – at 4.30 this morning – that our bums and legs were numb enough to warrant an exit pass. Thank God!!
(Although I am now on a promise to borrow DVDs of the movies we missed to watch at home.)
I finally fell into bed just after 5.30am. But the most horrific part of the experience was by far and away the DAMN BASTARD FORK LIFT DRIVER AND CONSTRUCTION WORKERS who revved up motors and power tools in our street at 6am and woke me up just half an hour later. Timing. Now that’s when I REALLY wanted Freddie Krueger to make an appearance.
Now, don’t you agree I deserve a Mother of the Year award???
Yes, sorry Mum, but it really is ALL your fault. If it hadn’t been your birthday, I wouldn’t have taken you and Ken (my step-father) out to lunch to one of my fave cafes, Little Ox. And if I hadn’t taken you out to lunch, I wouldn’t have smashed my FIT FIX Diet Plan to pieces. I hope you accept all the blame. Even though it’s your birthday.
To be honest, I suppose I should thank you, rather than blame you. Having stuck to the diet plan for nearly 12 days, I was bound to break it sometime and what better excuse to break a diet than needing to celebrate your birthday.
So yes, dear readers, I lied yesterday when I listed a simple serve of supermarket chicken tikka on the food plan. I knew damn well I was going out to lunch. Still, those of you who are putting this diet to the test need to know what I WOULD have been eating, IF I’d stuck to my word… Which I completely and whole-heartedly DID NOT.
It’s a bit hard when everything on the menu at Little Ox is so mouth-wateringly tempting. My number one choice is usually from the All Day Breakfast section – grilled corn fritters with ham, mashed avocado, salsa and a poached egg on top – just scrumptious. But with my diet in mind, I thought I’d go for the grilled chicken and quinoa salad instead. With part owner and chef Simon Winfield at the helm in the kitchen, I knew it would be delicious.
And it was. I truly meant to photograph the plate up close with all its artistic swirls of aioli for you to see, but once it arrived on the table, I was so keen to see how it tasted, I’d eaten almost half of it before I remembered I was supposed to be taking pictures.
Sorry.
Again.
Then it was time for coffee and dessert. Mum and Ken sensibly declined the offer of a sweet treat but how can you have a birthday celebration without cake? So I went ahead and ordered a selection of wicked indulgences anyway… It’s much better to have a small taste to LOTS of things than just ONE dessert – right?
And don’t forget the cream on the side! Double clotted preferably… Starting from the back, that included a mini peach Melba, a caramel brownie and a melt-in-your mouth slice of passionfruit cheesecake. I was in heaven…
So yes, as you can see, I really DID smash up the diet plan. I can feel my jeans getting tighter as I type. Damn, and I WAS doing so well. But heck, it was worth it. It was my Mum’s birthday after all.
This is a quickie update because life, work, and social commitments are gathering pace… making it harder to stick to the straight and narrow when it comes to the FIT FIX Diet Plan, let alone blog about it.
I talked about ‘cheating without cheating’ on the food plan yesterday, eating those yummy Double D lollies, but last night I did genuinely cheat. Being under the calorie count for the day and after having a whopping THREE alcohol free days straight, I thought I could relax with a glass or two of chardy at the end of the night while watching TV. But of course, once the alcohol takes effect, the will-power plummets…
I was STILL hungry. Now, I didn’t break any of the so-called ‘rules’ here, but I did go overboard with a massive NUT BINGE. Pistachios and cashews. I didn’t weigh them, just hoed right on in – handful upon handful… God knows how many calories that would have added up to – hate to think.
That, combined with a lack of exercise, meant the scales plateaued today – hardly a surprise…
The next three days will be challenging too, with lots of social events booked in, so I’m hoping all my good work won’t fall in a heap. The most important thing is to make a PLAN – try to stick to it, and if you fail, start all over again!
Having said that, here’s the plan for tomorrow. And I don’t need to detail Saturday’s as that’s my day off – yay!
Breakfast – Uncle Toby’s instant oats with berries
Snack – Hard-boiled egg
Lunch – Chicken tikka pieces (about 125g + 166 calories) I buy it pre-made from the supermarket and heat it up in the microwave. Simple.
Snack – small tub Tamara mixed berries yoghurt
Dinner – left over chicken patties and papaya salad (recipe listed in Wednesday’s blog)
RECIPE – Papaya Salad
I green papaya
I bag coleslaw from the supermarket
1/2 cup roasted cashews, crushed
3 spring onions
1 red chilli
handful fresh coriander
1/2 cup fresh basil
It felt like I was cheating on the FIT FIX Diet Plan big time last night, eating a decent share of lollies, but in fact, I didn’t break any rules whatsoever. You see THESE arrived on my doorstep the other day – a box of sugar-free Double D treats.
It wasn’t on the diet plan, but I was under my calories quota for the day and joy, oh joy, the scales still went downwards this morning. In fact, I have to say I’m pretty up-myself about the success SO FAR on my self-devised FIT FIX Diet Plan.
Just take a look at the My Net Diary weight loss chart on the right and you can see for yourself, there’s a steady downward trend happening. Now I just have to keep going until I reach the goal weight of 64kg. I’m sure the fact that I’m making myself accountable to this Blog is part of the success too, so I’m going to keep blogging until I get there!
I’m always on the hunt for low-cal sweetie options too, so the gift from Double D arrived with perfect timing. Just when I was getting bored with my regular stash of diet-friendly treats, they’ve brought out a new selection of lollies to choose from.
Being obsessed with chocolate, I instantly gravitated to the Choc O Jelly Rounds…
But daughter Veronica snatched up the Mint Chews before I had any say in the matter and they proved a big hit with her.
There’s also Fruit Drops, Butter Candy Drops and Aussie Gummy Bears – all made using the natural sweetener, Stevia.
Double D is an Australian owned company too and lists all the lollies as being 99% fat free, gluten free, cholesterol free, low GI and dental friendly. Guess that ticks all the boxes!
Let’s take a look at the food plan for tomorrow. Remember, Thursday is meant to be a low calorie day, so drink lots of water and herbal tea! The total calorie count for tomorrow is only 473 calories – which is close to the proposed amount in the 2/5 diet.
Whisk together all ingredients in a small bowl and cook in a pan as you would small pancakes or pikelets. In the Dukan Diet book, fromage frais is used instead of Fruche, but it’s almost impossible to find in Australian supermarkets. Hence, this is the ONE instance where I allow a product that contains more than 5% sugar, because there just isn’t anything else out there that works. But I am open to suggestions if you have any!
Mix all ingredients together. Roll into large golf-ball size rounds, then squash into a pattie shape with the back of a spatula. Spray with olive oil then bake in a moderate oven for about 25 minutes, or until brown. These are also great the next day cold when you’re allowed more!
