While I do take my journalistic profession quite seriously, I have to admit it to having a bout of the giggles while interviewing my own husband. I mean, it does feel a bit ridiculous, after all, when you’ve been married for more than twenty years – to put a taping device between the two of you to start a process of ‘formal’ questioning…
Fletch wasn’t enamoured with the idea either. He even tried fobbing me off with a press release instead! Are you kidding? His own wife? There isn’t a self-respecting journalist on the planet that would do a story on the back of a mere media release. Well, except for the super-lazy and disinterested. I’ve got plenty of faults, but I’m not those.
This was an interview that HAD to be done properly. It’s all about Fletch’s new Christmas song – If You Want A Happy Christmas – out today on ITunes for a teensy-weensy $1.69. https://itun.es/i6Fb88M #iTunes
It’s an upbeat, catchy tune that will put you in the festive spirit, plus all the profits from the song will go to a wonderful charity, Blue September, to aid cancer research.
Fletch recorded the song with harmony singing sensations, The Pacific Belles, who also feature prominently in the video which can be seen on You Tube. The clip has already had more than 9,000 views. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMeRu-0q8E8
He even called on help from his ‘neighbours’ to take part in the video – with actors and great friends Stefan Dennis, Chris Milligan and James Mason joining in the shenanigans, playing the roles of a rather funky Santa and a couple of cheeky elves.
But enough from me. Let’s get straight into that interview. And just for the record, I call him ‘ALAN’, not Fletch in this interview, because I am, after all, a complete professional.
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JEN: So tell how you came up with the lyrics for your new song? ALAN: I’m happy to, but I’m only going to give you one shot at this because I know you’re very, very unreliable with recording interviews. So have you got a back up plan here?
(Okay, so maybe there have been technical glitches with a couple – just a couple – of interviews I’ve recorded on my IPhone that have had to be re-recorded…)
JEN: (laughter) Ah, only my fantastic memory. ALAN: Okay then, we’ll see how you go.
JEN: So, the lyrics? ALAN: The lyrics? Oh yes, right. Well, I personally am not a huge fan of the commercialisation of Christmas and so when I came to write a Christmas song, I wanted to do something that was fun but I wanted it to have a little bit of a message as well, and to shift the focus away from present-giving and back on to connecting with the ones you love.
JEN: Is this just a really elaborate way of you saying you’re NOT going to be buying me a present this year? ALAN: Yes. Yes, you’re getting nothin’ but a big, big smooch right under the mistletoe.
JEN: But what about the diamond hoop ear-rings I really want? (much laughter as of course, I would never expect something so expensive from my very un-materialistic husband) ALAN: Well, there’s plenty of rich bastards out there who will buy their wives diamond hoop ear-rings but that won’t get them anything. And you’re not going to get any.
JEN: Well, that’s just mean. ALAN: Move on.
JEN: Why were you reluctant to be interviewed by me? ALAN: Because you’re too invasive as an interviewer and you have a reputation for running with sleaze.
JEN: Rubbish! Give me an example. ALAN: Your cosmetic blogs. They’re full of sleaze.
(I have no idea what he is talking about…)
JEN: Well, what about your song with the line in it about kissing under the mistletoe with a MERRY HO? What does that mean? You want to pash a drunken whore under a green leaf? ALAN: Would you stop wasting my time?
JEN: No, this is my interview and I’m running it so just answer the question. Do you really think it’s appropriate we should be singing about drunken whores to our children at Christmas time? ALAN: Well, it’s better to sleep with a drunken whore than a sober one. JEN: Why? ALAN: Because they won’t remember you the next day.
JEN: Time to move on. So what measure of success do you need from this song to make all the hard work worthwhile? ALAN: I’d like it to have widespread distribution and recognition over the years – not just this year – and that I don’t make a loss.
JEN: So you want it to be played in shopping centres, at carols nights etc..? FLETCH: I would like it to be played wherever people feel festive. I think it’s a festive song with a really good hook and I think people will enjoy it.
JEN: It’s already being touted by the Daily Mirror as a potential Number One hit. That’s a good start, isn’t it? ALAN: That was very kind of them and if reaches Number One on the charts, I will be sending them a massive crate of French champagne.
JEN: Will I get any French Champagne? ALAN: You never said it was going to a Number One Hit. You told me it sounded like a Wiggles song.
JEN: The Wiggles are very successful. Do you think it would sell better if you’d made a whole album of Christmas songs? ALAN: And where the hell would I have found the time and money to do that?
JEN: Good point. It’s a very catchy song. Do you find it stays in your head? ALAN: I can’t stop singing it. I wake up singing it, I go to sleep singing it…
JEN: Do you hate it now? ALAN: I don’t hate it, but it haunts me. And everybody I have played it to has had the same reaction.
JEN: That’s called an earworm. Do you know that term? ALAN: I think you mean brain worm.
JEN: No, it’s an ear worm. ALAN: Okay, it’s an ear worm. Nice. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
JEN: I suppose you have to put the challenge out to everyone.Can you listen to this song twice without it being stuck in your head? ALAN: So that’s going to be the focus of you blog?
JEN: No, it’s going to be ‘Is he Mr Scrooge or Mr Christmas?’ ALAN: (laughter, rolls on the couch and falls off)
That’s the end of our interview. I quite enjoyed it. I should also mention that If You Want A Happy Christmas was performed by Steve Purcell’s Pearly Shells, written by Alan Fletcher/Tim Smith, produced & mixed by Robin Gray, and recorded at Allan Eaton Studios in Melbourne, Victoria.
So why not buy it today, help Fletch reach Number One on the charts and help a great cause at the same time? Oh, and let me know if you DO think this song really is an ear worm!
Feel like saving the planet this weekend? Okay, that sounds like I’m asking you to be a super hero, but I’m not. You really can contribute just by visiting the Sea Shepherd ships which are dockside in Melbourne at Williamstown and open to the public for tours this weekend.
Donating helps too. Not just money – long-life food stocks that Sea Shepherd can take on its missions are greatly appreciated because it’s an organisation that relies completely on the generosity of supporters. There’s also a stall where you can buy Sea Shepherd t-shirts and souvenirs.
We went along for a tour of the ships last weekend and it was a real eye opener. Fletch’s fellow Neighbours actor Saskia Hempele and her partner, TV presenter Kayne Tremills also joined us.
Just in case you haven’t heard about Sea Shepherd, these guys put their lives on the line trying to prevent the illegal poaching of protected whales and dolphins. We were also shown a couple of videos of clashes with Japanese whaling ships and I can only imagine how terrifying it would be to be caught on one of their smaller boats, being deliberately rammed by these massive vessels.
The Bob Barker being rammed by Japanese ships in February this year.
We were given a tour of the Bob Barker by Quarter Master Ben Harris who explained Sea Shepherd’s background. ‘It was founded in 1977 by Paul Watson,’ he said. ‘Watson was one of the original founders of Greenpeace but left Greenpeace to found Sea Shepherd because he wanted a much more direct action organisation. We’re a marine conservation organisation but we use direct action tactics to directly intervene in the poaching of whales.’
This ‘direct action’ is heavy stuff. The Australian arm of Sea Shepherd makes an annual pilgrimage to the Southern Ocean whale sanctuary every year. ‘That’s been a whale sanctuary since 1994 and whaling has been banned since 1986,’ explained Ben. ‘But the Japanese whaling fleet continues to whale illegally – under a legal loophole which allows them to whale under the guise of scientific research. They go after either Humpbacks, Fin whales and Minkes which are endangered or close to being endangered.
TV presenter Kayne Tremills with Neighbours actors Saskia Hempele and Alan Fletcher hear about the serious business of saving whales
The Bob Barker played a huge role in the last campaign. ‘We used this ships as a wedge,’ said Ben, ‘because they were refuelling inside the whale sanctuary which is breaking another whole load of rules. But we put this ship between the Japanese factory ship and the refuelling ship. The factory ship is 5000 tonnes and our boat is 500 tonnes. We were nearly squashed but we stopped them from refuelling.’
It was this bravery that made February’s intervention the most successful Sea Shepherd campaign yet. ‘We saved 932 whales,’ said Ben. ‘They had a quota of 1135 whales but because they couldn’t refuel, they cut their season short.’
Was anyone hurt in this campaign? ‘No, we’re aggressive but not physically violent. We’re not out to harm anyone. They’ve never lost anyone and we’ve never lost anyone. The only injuries that have been caused happened when some of our crew was pelted with large nuts and bolts from the whalers. They also swung a grappling hook at us,’ he said.
Next stop was a tour of the dining quarters. If you want to volunteer to be part of a Sea Shepherd campaign, make sure you’re happy to go vegan. After hearing about the horrific slaughter of whales and dolphins all day, it’s something I’m going to have to seriously consider.
Ben says that less and less of the Japanese population eat whale meat now, as awareness about the plight of the whales grows. ‘People have gone off the idea. They’re also aware there’s a lot of mercury in the meat, so they’re getting better educated, but the industry keeps pushing it, trying to get the next generation to eat it but putting it in school dinners. But now less than 4% of their population actually eat it.’
Worldwide support for Sea Shepherd is growing rapidly. It was fascinating to hear how so much has been donated by the US celebrity set. The Bob Barker ship, for instance, is named after the US games show host from The Price is Right, who donated a whopping FIVE MILLION DOLLARS to not only buy the ship, but a helicopter as well. Actor Pierce Brosnan is on the board of directors.
So Zoe Foster and Hamish Blake are having a baby! I offer my sincerest congratulations to them both – this gorgeous and much loved-up ‘IT’ couple of our local celebrity culture.
I’m sure Hamish will make an excellent dad. I can say this with some authority, as son Tom (who has just turned 16) is a HUGE ‘Hamish and Andy’ fan. This means he has spent thousands of hours over the past five years walking around our house listening to pod-casts of these guys with ear-phones glued to his head and ignoring me. Hamish, in particular, is his favourite. Which means I’ve battled to get a word in.
But I’m fine with that. I get it. Hamish is funnier, wittier, younger and a bloke. No wonder Tom would prefer to hear his banter than my nagging him to pick up the clothes from his bedroom floor. But as a result, I believe Tom has absorbed much of Hamish’s take on life and he’s turned out pretty well. (In fact, he’s close to damn perfect… ) So Hamish, if you do read this, you should recognise and take a pat on the back for the great influence you’ve had on the thousands of young men (and women) who’ve grown up listening to you and feel confident, as you await the arrival of your first born, that you WILL be a great dad.
It’s none of my business WHEN people decide to have a baby, but I do admit to feeling a tad concerned when I read more than a year ago that Zoe was in no hurry to have kids. There was a quote where she said ‘I’m only 31 and I don’t want a huge family, but we do want kids, but we’re in no rush. I want to be a fun, married couple for a while.’ Which is cool – I just hoped she wasn’t going to wait till she was forty.
Now, OF COURSE, that was probably a line for the media because why should she tell us what they are planning anyway? But it reminded me of myself when Fletch and I had been married for a few years and I’d said exactly the same thing to friends. In fact, I was having so much fun with just the two of us, that every time Fletch suggested starting a family, I’d laugh it off and say, ‘Next year, honey. Just another year.’
Then the crunch came when he sent me a card with a picture of an adorable chubby baby on the front, and he drew a word bubble out of it’s mouth where he wrote, ‘When, oh when, will you let me be born?’ Yeah, not much pressure, huh?? So I relented, thinking it would probably take a while, but in a matter of seconds I was pregnant.
Veronica arrived not long after my 30th birthday and I was one of the first of my friendship group to have a baby. That made it hard for the first few years when I felt like I was missing out socially, but in hindsight, I’m so glad Fletch put the squeeze on for us to start a family when we did.
I still don’t think there’s enough in the media, encouraging younger women to have babies at an earlier age, because there still seems to be a common misconception that it’s all good and dandy to get pregnant in your forties. While many women do, and it works out brilliantly, there’s many more who spend years struggling to conceive and the long-awaited miracle never happens. For many, there isn’t a choice – some are still waiting to find a life-partner – but for those who do, but are like me and are hesitant – this is why I’m writing this piece.
Our second child, Tom, arrived two and a half years after Veronica when I was thirty-two. Even at that age, it was an exhausting time. Especially as I returned to reading the news when Tom was a mere five-weeks old.
The younger you start, the more energy you will have to cope with the incessant demands of parenting. Your body will bounce back more quickly and you are less likely to suffer from post-natal depression. I wish I’d started even younger!
As well, the earlier you start a family, the greater your chances are of becoming pregnant. After the age of 36, a women’s fertility rate declines at an alarming rate. Only two in five women over the age of 40 are able to conceive.
I know this is a sensitive and complex issue. I have another friend in her forties who is only now, considering having a baby. She says she hasn’t felt ready until now. Everyone is different and that’s all good. I’m just saying – if you’re like I was in my late 20s and think you have all the time in the world – think again. Look up the statistics and decide whether it’s really worth waiting. And to Hamish and Zoe, I’m thrilled for you both.
When I first saw the mother’s day present Fletch had chosen for the kids to give me this year, I can’t really tell you what I thought… I took off the wrapping paper to reveal a weird looking S-Shaped purple plastic device – what the hell???
Fletch held it out proudly, declaring he’d discovered the solution to my back pain woes. He’d bought me a BACKNOBBER. And not just any Backnobber. It was the Backnobber MARK TWO. I smiled nicely, trying to appear enthusiastic and failing. How on earth could something so simple actually help with the complex physical condition I was enduring that related to disc issues and nerve endings? What a STUPID present… It didn’t even come with batteries.
But it was a mother’s day present. I had to try. It took a while to get the positioning right, but after several attempts, it started to make sense. If you hold one end of the S-shaped device in one hand and get it on the right spot where you feel the discomfort, then pull down on the curve in front of your body, the pressure applied actually DOES have a massaging effect.
You can also move the Backnobber around very easily to treat various spots on the back and feel the instantaneous relief. I was amazed. It actually worked! Sometimes the key to a successful gadget really does lie in its simplicity.
So why, might you ask, have I decided to blog about something that was a gift WAY back in May? Well, it just so happens that I’m on holiday right now with the kids and didn’t pack my Backnobber and my back is missing that simple purple device. Which must be proof that it actually does work. Given that 80% percent of the world’s population suffers from back pain at some point in their lives (according to Dr. Jeffrey Katz, M.D., M.Sc., a leading back specialist at Harvard Medical School) then I reckon there’s plenty of readers who might like to know about this. Fletch first learnt about the amazing Backnobber from his on-screen wife, Jackie Woodburne (aka Susan Kennedy), and let’s face it if TWO wives of a well-regarded doctor think something works, then we MUST be on to something.
If you’d like to find out more about the Backnobber, Fletch bought it from The Massage Warehouse in at 361 North Road, South Caulfield, Victoria. (PH: +61 (03) 9502 7693) Or you can visit the company website on http://massagewarehouse.com.au and order a Backnobber on-line. Right now, they’re on sale – reduced from $65 to $56. And no, I don’t get a commission. I’m just sharing because I hope it helps. Good luck.
I’ve had to endure my husband having many relationships with different women over the years. Of course, he’s had his on-screen Neighbours wife, Susan, for more than 18 years and that’s been easy because Jackie Woodburne is such a wonderful human being and good friend.
Then there was Nicola Charles (Sarah) and Natalie Bassingthwaighte (Izzy) who were love interests on the show for a spell and also both gorgeous, so I can’t complain. Natalie has also become a close pal.
Jackie Woodburne, Fletch and Natalie Bassingthwaighte
But now, not only is Fletch surrounded by stunning women on set, he’s embarked on a musical project that means he’s going to be working closely with THREE beautiful and highly talented young women. I mean, really, if they weren’t so damn nice, I might be feeling a little bit over it all…
Alan first met The Pacific Belles when they came along to a regular gig where his band Waiting Room was playing at The Elephant and Wheelbarrow in St Kilda. From there, Alan learnt about their unique musical style and plans for a collaboration grew. You see, The Pacific Belles aren’t any old girl group. They’re a retro swing trio that emulates the harmonies of The Andrews Sisters from the 1940s.
The Pacific Belles performing at The Paris Cat in Melbourne
We went along to The Paris Cat in the city one evening to see them perform and were blown away. Not only is their repertoire tight, pitch perfect and entertaining – they mix up the old with the new – even singing a jazz influenced version of Wonderwall. Impressive.
Laura Monaghan (pictured above centre) – better known as ‘Betty Belle’, is the lynch pin of the group and the mastermind behind the concept. She firmly believes she was born in the wrong era, which probably accounts for their authentic sound. ‘I came over to Australia from the UK and I’ve always wanted to sing in a trio,’ she said. ‘I love singing harmonies so I thought, “Let’s do a 1940s singing trio.” That’s the music I’m really passionate about. It’s a glamorous era. I love the fashion, the lipstick, the hair – everything.’
They’ve definitely got the look down pat. Quick frankly, listening to them sing downstairs at The Paris Cat, I really did feel like I’d been transported back to another era…
They’ve already built up quite a following in Melbourne – playing at functions, popular venues, weddings and events. Tonight they’ll be performing at the launch of Melbourne’s Fringe Festival with shows booked during the festival as well.
‘Our next public performance dates will be during the Melbourne fringe festival at Madame Brussels on the 22nd of September and then again on the 5th and 6th of October. Our show is called Sing, Swing, Get in The Mood and we’d love everyone to come along for the afternoon tea and a show.’
As for Fletch’s new musical collaboration with The Pacific Belles, that’s under wraps for the moment, but I’ll give you a hint. It might have something to do with Christmas…
They make a good team, right? Oh, and the Pacific Belles will be back at The Paris Cat in November. In the meantime, they’ve also got an album and video clip to finish. Ultimately, they’d like a hit song in the UK charts. I can’t wait to hear the finished product!
