A lot of hands have been groping at my breasts lately. And I’m not talking about my husband’s. Sometimes the world sends you plenty of signals that there’s something you need to do, so I did it, and suddenly my breasts are the focus of much attention. Here’s why.
Recently I’ve been surrounded by health issues. First there were stories of loss from heart disease at the St Vincent’s Hospital fundraiser. Then there was the farewell for Sam Johnson as he set off on his epic uni-cycle ride around Australia in support of his sister, Connie, who is suffering breast cancer. (Please donate at www,loveyoursister.org) Read Sam’s diaries there too – his words are truly inspiring, not to mention funny! And finally, a story about a young woman who died from cancer two weeks ago. She’d been engaged to get married but didn’t live long enough to make it to the altar so was dressed in her bridal gown at her funeral. That made me weep and I didn’t even know her.
Enough already. I realised it was time. I wasn’t completely sure when I’d last had a full health check, but it must have been more than ten years ago. And I’d never had a mammogram. (Thanks Sam for reminding us all to be ‘breast aware’) So I made an appointment with my local GP and the process began.
Dr Steve did the usual stuff – blood pressure, a long list of health questions and a urine test on the spot. Then there were referrals for a lung test (spirometry test) and blood test, to check liver, kidneys and cholesterol. Then he asked if I’d checked my breasts lately. I felt foolish saying ‘no’, but to be honest, it just isn’t something that occurs to me, despite knowing how important it is and hearing the constant reminders through advertising and health awareness programs.
Up on the table, he said and an examination got underway. I babbled away incessantly to distract myself from the embarrassment, but never for a moment thinking anything was likely to be wrong. So it was a little bit of a shock when he said that I should have a mammogram to investigate an ‘IRREGULARITY’ in my left breast.
AN IRREGULARITY???? REALLY??? What the frickin’ hell does that mean in real language? He reassured me it was ‘unlikely’ to be anything serious, but it was worth checking out.
Years of working under stressful situations as a newsreader or on the road as a journalist in terrifying situations have at least stood me in good stead in one regard. I’m well-trained at not panicking. Staying cool, calm and collected. On the outside.
On the inside, it’s a different matter. Nodding to Dr Steve and smiling, I said I was sure it would be fine, thanked him for being so thorough and left. Inside my head, thought patterns were going crazy at a million miles an hour.
There’s lots of questions you have to deal with internally. Should you tell anyone? It’s only an irregularity anyway and you don’t want family or friends to be alarmed for no reason. So I didn’t even tell Fletch for two days. I preferred trying to ignore the whole business. The timing was difficult too. I’d seen Dr Steve on a Friday and wasn’t able to have a mammogram till the following Wednesday. That meant FIVE full days of torturous ‘WHAT IF’ lines running through my brain like a broken record.
Having the actual mammogram was better than I’d expected. The sweet young girl putting me through my paces at the Cabrini Hospital in Brighton was warm and sympathetic and explained the process well. It still didn’t stop me feeling affronted when she did what she had to do – squeezing my boobs into place in the steel machine. Very unsexy. She then forewarned me not to be upset if she needed to ask for a second opinion, as that was quite common after the pictures had been taken.
Despite her explanation, of course I feared the worst when she frowned slightly and said in an over-bright voice, ‘Just going to check with the doctor. I’ll be back in a jiffy!’ It was a very long jiffy. One that I felt sure would seal my fate as a cancer victim.
After the mammogram, there was an ultrasound with another doctor. This would be the third person to manhandle my breasts. You really do start to feel like it’s open slather on your boobs. I thought about walking down the hospital corridor with an open shirt, calling on anyone who wanted to cop a feel, to go ahead.
For the ultrasound, a male doctor rubbed gel over my breasts before using a cold steel probe to circulate and look for what those ‘irregularities’ really meant. He ummed and ahhed, but said it seemed the patch under concern seemed to be showing a couple of tiny cysts that were nothing to worry about. I started to feel relieved but also wished he could try sounding a little more positive.
When all was done, I was sent on my way after being told I was ‘probably’ in the clear. For me, ‘probably’ was good, but not good enough. I was keen to hear the final verdict from Dr Steve. That meant waiting another day until he received the results from the hospital.
The upshot is this. Dr Steve thinks that I’m probably okay. God, I hate that word. But he does want me to see another breast specialist. Really, I said? I mean, if the mammogram is clear, then I’m okay, right? Why do I need yet ANOTHER doctor to be groping my frickin’ breasts? Well, it will make ME feel okay, he said. Great. So I’m off to ANOTHER boob man in two weeks. That’s how long it takes to get in to see a specialist.
So that’s why I haven’t been blogging so much lately. I’ve busy hanging out with my boobs. I’m sure we’ll be okay, but I will let you know, hopefully FOR SURE, in a couple of weeks.
It was the Diet Coke getting his revenge… He knew what I was going to write about him. One minute I was grabbing three cans out of the laundry fridge for a Blog photo – the next, ‘Take this, lady!’ – he jumped out of my fingers and crashed to the floor.
I had no idea one can of Diet Coke held that much nasty fluid. Sticky stuff flew everywhere, and right up high on the opposite cupboards too, even though it’s hard to see from the photo. Great. That took at least half an hour to clean. And just when I was getting keen on the idea of blogging again too.
What really sparked this story was the hot summer weather. As many of you may know, I’ve been writing about going sugar-free this year – (apart from wine, of course) – and am always looking for fresh options to satisfy cravings for treats. So today I thought I’d take the quick and easy route, whip up some jelly and whack it in the fridge.
Even though the packet says ‘low calorie’, I checked the back nutrition panel for an ingredients check and was delighted to see ZERO sugar content. BUT all the chemicals listed did give me cause for concern.
Especially because a doctor friend was recently voicing an opinion that he believes aspartame and other chemical sweeteners are contributing to an increasing number of patients with neurological and immunological diseases – not to mention cancer and multiple sclerosis. Normally I just brush aside those concerns, but today I thought I might take a closer look.
So I reached for a small manual that hides away in a kitchen cupboard – the sort of thing you buy, intending to study up on and never do. It’s called ‘The Chemical Maze‘ by Bill Statham and is a really handy guide to all the potential risks posed by various additives and chemicals.
Well, smack me down with a wet fish if this didn’t accord with my doctor’s theories! Here’s what The Chemical Maze has to say about just two of the chemicals in Aeroplane Jelly:
952 CYCLAMATES, Cyclamic Acid: (artificial sweetener) – “Should be avoided by those with heart, circulation or liver problems: causes bladder cancer in rats, various skin conditions and migraines.” Nice.
955 SUCRALOSE (Splenda): (artificial sweetener) – “May lead to chronic neurological and immunological disorders; caused enlarged kidneys and liver in animals.”
Yikes. That sweet looking jelly doesn’t seem quite so appealing now… So what about Diet Coke? I ran to the laundry to grab a few cans and that’s when one of them chucked a tantrum and exploded, knowing full well I was going to diss him. Yep, sure enough, chock full of Aspartame. Described like this in my handy guide:
951 ASPARTAME (Nutrasweet, Equal): Potential health effects – Cancer, asthma, MS-like symptoms, headaches, hyperactivity, fatigue, anxiety, dizziness, migraine, memory loss, depression, insomnia, irritability, impotence, epilepsy, blindness, diabetes, seizures plus at least 80 others.
That does it. From now on, I am going to HAVE to ditch sugar substitutes AS WELL as sugar!!!!
Sadly I went to my treats drawer in my office to ditch my supplies. I picked up my favourite Double D Sugar Free Butter Candy Drops and looked at the back of the packet, expecting to see another nasty list of ingredients. But no. The only suspect was ISOMALT.
Again I check The Chemical Maze.
953 ISOMALT: (Humectant artificial sweetener) – MAY CAUSE INTESTINAL GAS!!!
Oh joy! Now that’s one kind of explosion I CAN live with.
Last week on Valentine’s Day, I was busy rehearsing some lines I was going to use as MC at a fund-raising function. It was the first time I’d MC’d an event where I was also on the organising committee, so there were twice as many reasons for hoping it was going to be a ripper of a night. And thankfully it was.
Called ‘The Sisterhood’, the committee did a brilliant job reaching out to Melbourne’s movers and shakers and getting them to come along and help raise much-needed funds for the cardiac research unit at St Vincent’s Hospital. As you might know, heart disease is still the biggest killer of all (when it comes to health matters) in Australia.
I’m not going to bang on about what a fab time everyone had, because if you weren’t there, then that’s just plain dull. But I do want to thank a few people who deserve special mention for going above and beyond the call of duty. And to a handful of those people, you have been elevated to hero status in my eyes and I will forever be indebted to you. Thank you. A million times – thank you.
The Deck at The Prince in St Kilda. This stunning venue was made available through the generosity of The Melbourne Pub Group. Definitely the best place in Melbourne to stage a glamour party!
Laurent Perrier for making our special champagne raffle draw possible. Easy to sell tickets when people know they’re getting a glass of such fine bubbles!
Also, to the many wonderful friends and family who bought tickets, some dipping into their pockets despite tight budgets, AND to those with enormous work loads who came despite tight schedules, AND to those whose companies also donated products for goodie bags – sending you all the biggest of hugs and thanks… xxxxxx
And to Natalie Bassingthwaighte and Cameron McGlinchey who came despite Nat not feeling her most comfortable right now, due to the exciting news of a second baby on the way!
And a HUGE thank you to my gorgeous, amazing and supportive husband, Fletch, who helped enormously on the night. Not only did he rally the crowd, using his best theatrical voice, when we needed everyone inside for speeches or the auction – he ALSO sang a number with Melissa Bergland, proving – one again – he is indeed a man of MANY talents.
THE HEROES
For me, there were also several heroes on the night – those who proved to be outstanding human beings for many reasons. Here they are:
(1) Andrew Newcomb, the Deputy Director of Cardiothoracic Surgery at St Vincent’s Hospital. This man is a medical genius. He spoke on the night about the breakthroughs in heart surgery taking place RIGHT NOW which means we all look to him in awe. He’s performed five ground-breaking operations since December, which will revolutionise the way aortic valve replacement surgery is performed, making patients’ recovery times quicker and easier.
(2) Kristen Kennedy is one of The Sisterhood committee members. Kristen also spoke on the night, and it was one of the most heartfelt and brave speeches I’ve ever heard. Kristen took some time to decide in the weeks before the event, whether it was something she would be able to do. You will understand why… Kristen talked about the tragic loss of her brother, Andrew, who died at just 36 years of age from a Sudden Arrhythmic episode only 18 months ago. Her words reminded everyone that heart disease doesn’t discriminate in terms of age and is an issue that affects us all.
(3) Melissa Bergland is not only a super-talented actress whom most of you will instantly recognise from the hit TV show Winners and Losers – she has a powerhouse voice! Melissa kindly agreed to sing on the night – DONATING HER TIME – which was incredibly generous. PLUS she is working very long hours on the show right now and had to start the next morning at FIVE AM!!! Definitely a hero in my book. Thank you Melissa!
(4) My anonymous Guardian Angel. A special friend, who doesn’t wish to be named, made an incredibly generous donation as well as proving to be an enormously special and supportive friend. Darling, I love you – thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Rachel Holland with friend, Julian Gerner, Melbourne Pub Group
(5) Rachel Holland was the chair-person of The Sisterhood committee, for this – our second event. I’ve always known she was smart and efficient (she is a lawyer, after all…) but Rachel’s work for this Valentine’s Day event went WAY above and beyond the call of duty. She and her husband Nick are also expecting their first baby, so she took on this extra workload while also dealing with first pregnancy issues and running her own successful on-line jewellery business, Eclektica. (ECLEKTICA.com) Rach, you are a legend and a wonderful friend. Thank you for everything!
Finally, it has to be said. None of this would have happened without the dedication and hard work of all my ‘sisters’ in The Sisterhood Committee. Special mentions for outstanding effort goes to Amber Petty, Kate McGrath and Sarah Kennedy. Well done, girls!
Apologies to any readers out there who may have been missing my blog posts and wondering why I’ve suddenly stopped writing. I think I started to realise I was spending too much time chained to the computer and not enough time ‘living’. Summer is drawing to a close and as a lover of warm weather, I want to get outdoors while I can and soak up the last of the summer rays.
On Sunday, I had a group of friends over and we sat by the pool, drinking wine, chatting and swimming. Heavenly. I think that’s the first time I’ve done that this summer which is ridiculous when I’m lucky enough to own a swimming pool. I’ve also spent a bit of time riding and walking in the sun – pondering life and it’s complexities. Necessary time out.
I haven’t posted a Blog since last week. I have been consumed by much emotionally – weighed down by the good and the bad – and weary from it all, that there’s been nothing left to put in to words.
(Plus, after running to demanding deadlines with a major charity event and blogging responsibilities, the house had fallen apart and needed a damn good spring clean. Cleaning is very cathartic for the soul.)
An older woman once warned me about getting involved in charity work. ‘Your friends will hate you, Jennifer,’ she said, raising her eyebrows and nodding sagely. Dismissing her words, I barrelled on through, taking on various roles with several organisations and blithely accepting offers to help. I am fortunate enough to be at a time in my life where I’m not working in a regular full-time job. Why wouldn’t I say ‘yes’ when asked to help with such worthwhile causes? And ‘There but for the Grace of God go I’ (even though I’m not religious) – that could be me one day down the track – with breast cancer, heart disease, or financially destitute.
I knew, sending out an invitation to a charity event such as we held last Thursday night for St Vincent’s Hospital, that there would be some friends who would open the email invitation, sigh, and swear – ‘Bloody hell. Not again. She’s (me) wanting us to go to some God-awful function and spend a fortune for a ticket. No frickin’ way. I’m SO over those things.’ You’re always going to get a few of those. The ones who love going to a free event but hate to fork out cash for something deemed ‘charity’ even when they’ll happily spend more than $100 on a regular night out. Or declare they’re just ‘tired’ of social occasions, as an excuse not to attend.
I know I should expect that and NOT place expectations on others. But deep inside, you can’t help but feel a little hurt when close friends let you down. Especially when you’ve talked about it for months, sent out ‘save the date’ emails and they know how important it is to you.
But then other friends go above and beyond your expectations and you love them all the more for their kindness. When they give, with both time and money, you feel more grateful than if they’d given their gifts to you personally.
I am going to write about the HEROES from that evening – exactly a week ago, on Valentine’s Day and I will post that later today. But for now, I just wanted to explain my absence. Now you know why.
Physically speaking, I’m naturally a lazy person. I’d much rather sleep in and eat ice-cream (from the tub) for breakfast-in-bed, while reading a book, than get up and go to the gym. Especially if I’ve had a late night writing – my favourite time to tap out words.
Most mornings I get up early to take the kids to school. (Unless Fletch doesn’t have an early start on Neighbours, but that’s a weekly negotiation…) After dropping them off, I love the idea of going back to bed and snuggling back under the doona for maybe an extra hour or two… but that’s just a fantasy. I think I’ve only actually done that about twice in my life. Maybe three…
Instead, I try to head to the gym after the kids drop-off and before work, but last year things went awry. My weight ballooned after giving up smoking, and then a neck injury meant I gave up working-out. Plus I was eating WAY too many sweet treats. Of course it became harder to keep the fat at bay.
Luckily I began the Cool Sculpting process in late October – more as a Blogging exercise really – to see if this freezing process would help get rid of my burgeoning muffin-top. Each week I went along to the Liberty Belle Clinic for a photo update and JOY, OH JOY, it actually WORKED! (check out the weekly updates, starting from October 30th last year http://wp.me/p29YsS-kK )
This inspired me to get back to the gym and try and fix the rest of me. God knows I’d like to get rid of those orange-peel flabby underarm bits…. Yet still, I was pretty half-hearted about the whole exercise regime, so decided I needed someone to motivate me. Someone I could be accountable to.
I met Personal Trainer Ross Sheridan at Fitness First in Brighton several months ago. He looked like one of the fittest guys taking people through their workouts, plus he had a lovely manner about him. I didn’t want anyone screaming orders at me like a boot camp major. So I grabbed his card and promised I’d book in. That was last November.
Then a few weeks ago I ran into Ross at the gym (after dodging him for months) and couldn’t think of any more excuses as to why I hadn’t made an appointment. As we chatted, I explained how I needed to be accountable to someone PLUS the fact that I was easily bored by exercise. Ross came up with a great solution. I couldn’t afford to see him twice a week, but he was happy to divide my one hour session into TWO half-hour appointments, with me promising to do some cardio work – on the treadmill or cross-trainer – for the other half-hour. A perfect solution. This meant I would HAVE to turn up to the gym twice a week. At least.
I booked in on the spot. That was nearly three weeks ago and I’ve stuck to it. Lo and behold, this exercising PROPERLY business is already working!!
So meet Ross, my new training buddy. Ta da!! Cool tattoos, yeah?
But things between us didn’t start off so great. This is NOT a bad thing about Ross. It’s probably more about me…. You see, the week I started with Ross, I started getting text messages quite regularly.
‘Great training today, Jen, keep up the good work!’
‘Have a great weekend and try not to indulge too much!’
‘Less drink, better food.’
‘Get ready for a big week of training!’
Now, I appreciate the effort and thought put into this and I recognise it helps many people stay on the straight and narrow, but it’s not for me. WAY too much. So I texted back.
‘All good. Probably don’t need so many text msgs though… Thanks anyway.’ Ungrateful cow, aren’t I?
But I thought it best to sort this out upfront before I became too peeved by it all and threw in the training towel. Ross was fine and explained that most of his clients like the additional motivational messages. I guess everyone’s different…
Now we’re getting into the hot and heavy stuff – BOXING. I’ve done this before and am loving punching it up again. It really works up a sweat. Ross reckons I’ve got a great right hook, so watch out. But I’m still pretty unfit and am exhausted at the end of every half-hour session.
I suspect part of the reason for Ross’ text messages is that he thinks I drink too much. Here, we have another point of difference. Ross DOES NOT DRINK ALCOHOL AT ALL. He hasn’t for 18 months. Which is highly admirable. But not for me. Ross is encouraging me to have more AFDs, (alcohol-free-days) which I probably need, so I am trying. One friend advised, ‘NEVER tell your PT how much you drink. He won’t know!’
Unfortunately, you’re wrong there, Mr M. At training today, I thought I’d omit confessing to the red wine intake last night. Nothing was mentioned about alcohol till right at the end. Maybe it was my lack of energy? Then Ross remarked, ‘Had a few last night, didn’t you.’ It wasn’t a question. I only had a few glasses, but still he knew? I think he might be psychic.
Ross has other talents too. He’s a qualified remedial massage therapist. AND he’s mobile. That means he has his own massage table and can come to your home.
What better way to have a massage, than to be able to fall into bed into a deep sleep immediately afterwards? He also does gift vouchers, which is a great idea. It might be a bit late to organise one for Valentine’s Day, but keep it in mind next time you’re shopping for a birthday or anniversary gift. So many people have all the ‘stuff’ they need these days, that an ‘experiential’ gift is often appreciated. And $80 for a one-hour massage AT YOUR HOME or at the gym is great value.
To contact Ross for either a personal training session or massage, email him at rosssheridanfitness@gmail.com or phone on 0406 331 697.
SPECIAL OFFER
Ross has a special offer for new remedial massage clients. If you are a subscriber to this Blog and would like to book a one-hour session, he is offering a FIFTY PER CENT discount to the first TWENTY readers to email him. Enjoy.
