So you’re at some funky cafe and trying to impress the crowd with your new hipster glad-rags and aqua-glass reflector aviators, sipping on your skinny chai latte with a double twist of lemon and sending all your besties text messages about your social plans when a crowd of young dudes swan past, stare at you scornfully and shake their heads with derision….
Why, you think? Surely I don’t look too old for these super-tight Sass and Bide jeans? Surely they can’t see my wrinkly neck under my carefully draped designer scarf? No honey, that’s not the problem. IT’S THE WAY YOU ARE TYPING YOUR TEXT MESSAGE!!!
Ah yes, listen and learn, oh youth-aspirational aged ones. I have been given this pearl of wisdom from teen son who gave ME such a look when we happened to be out recently IN PUBLIC. You see, I was holding the phone in ONE HAND and texting by using my FOREFINGER on the OTHER HAND.
Don’t you get it? That means you are OLD!!!! Yes, smart phones came out well past your youth years so you need to stare at the screen and tap those letters carefully for fear of making a mistake because you really don’t want to put on your reading glasses.
If you are young, you only use ONE HAND when texting. Because you are cool. Because your eyes are perfect. And because you are SO thumb-efficient you could enter the Olympic sport of thumb-texting tomorrow and blitz it on behalf of Australia, scoring gold medals all the way home.
If you are NOT able to text with one hand, using your dexterous thumb, then please hide your backward texting style in a shaded corner where so you won’t embarrass those you are with.
I am sure you will be eternally grateful I have passed this knowledge on to you. Now you really CAN pretend to be young without spending a fortune on Botox, driving a convertible and buying those over-priced label-bragging jeans. I just saved you a fortune.
If I was REALLY cool, I’d say, ‘You’re welcome’ before you say ‘Thank you’, but I’m not, so I won’t.
I’m a bit embarrassed to write about this because I can’t believe with all my knowledge about diet fads, tricks and rorts, I actually succumbed to this one. But I thought I should share this with you, in case you are tempted like me, so that you can learn from my stupid mistake and save your hard-earned cash.
Chatting with a friend a few weeks ago, the topic of conversation veered onto weight loss and exercise. Lou is doing well with a jogging regime and one of those NIKE bracelets that monitors how far you run and how many calories you are burning. And then she revealed another weight-loss ‘secret’ – a brand of chewing gum called REDUCTA.
Lou swore by it as a means of curbing those hunger pangs and helping to shed kilos. I was sold. A personal recommendation is always going to make me jump on the bandwagon of any diet quick-fix, because, hey, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? Forget the rule – if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If someone is promising something painless that doesn’t involve exercise, I’m there.
Off I rushed off to the supermarket, only to be shattered to find the shelf empty. SOLD OUT?? Well, that only proved Lou’s point, didn’t it? It MUST be the new miracle wonder drug if so many people were snapping it up.
I haunted Coles daily and harassed the manager until finally, a new batch arrived. I didn’t even balk at the cost. This box of a mere THIRTY pieces of gum is TWENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS!!
Full of promise, with its bright blue and yellow packaging, it vowed to ‘Reduce hunger and snacking.’
On the back, further information explained how this magical gum would also help reduce meal portions and appetite. All you had to do was to chew two pieces of gum half an hour before meal times. Or any other ‘danger’ periods where the chocolate urge might strike…
For me, that’s just about any time of the day, so I quickly chomped through an entire packet in record time.
Maybe it’s just me, but I felt not even a teensy, eensy bit LESS LUNGRY than usual. In fact, I probably ate more cake and chocolate than I usually do.
Disappointed, I wondered if it was just me and decided to do a bit of online research. I then found another website that reviews diet fads, called ‘Diet Pill Examiner’, which completely trashes the gum’s claims. There’s a host of reviews from other suckers like me – all agreeing it’s a complete waste of money.
Now I realise why Lou was REALLY looking so trim. It was the exercise and better diet regime that did it – as it will every time. At most, this ridiculous gum was probably having a mild placebo effect for her and that is all. Hopefully I have now learnt my lesson that looking for an easy option to help lose a few kilos is always a waste of time and money. This week, I’m just going to up my quota of spin classes at the gym instead.
This past week has been a whirlwind, to say the least. So many new experiences, my head is spinning. A new job, new sleeping hours, a new gym and new work buddies. It’s all great and I’m loving it, but at times it can feel a little over-whelming.
My new role is news presenter on Mike Perso’s More Music Breakfast Show at smoothfm. I also enjoy a chat with Mike when we take a look at the traffic and talk about what’s happening in and around Melbourne.
This first week has brought back memories of when I first started reading the news at Channel Ten – the butterflies in the tummy, the adrenalin rush and the fear of making a mistake. You see, just as it is for anyone starting a new job, there’s a steep learning curve. Except that most of you don’t have to risk mucking up in front of thousands of people…
The week hasn’t been without its hiccups, but ninety-nine per cent of the time it’s been fantastic. I’ve loved working in news again and the immediacy of radio is brilliant. Best of all, it feels completely natural and comfortable to be reading news live to air again. That bit hasn’t phased me at all.
The biggest plus is that everyone I’m working with is absolutely lovely and supportive. It’s like they’ve all absorbed the vibe of the whole station – chilled and positive. Mike himself has been delightful and welcoming and I’m in awe of his seamless and relaxed delivery on air; juggling interviews, competitions, music and the challenge of working with a radio newbie like me!
As for the newsroom staff, they couldn’t have been more helpful if I’d paid them a million bucks each. There’s been a lot of new technology to absorb and me and technology don’t usually get along well at first so anyone teaching me, requires a LOT of patience. Which is why I have to thank these amazing people from the bottom of my heart:
Putting a bulletin together really is a team effort and I’m very lucky to be working with a group of such talented writers and operators. I’m also very much looking forward to the time in a couple of weeks when apparently – they keep telling me – the button-pushing bit will have become second-nature.
When I started at smoothfm last week, the person I was assigned to ‘follow’, who was going to teach me the ropes, was the super-talented Pip Mooney, the on-air newsreader I’ve replaced. Pip has chosen to take on a new role in the corporate world for family reasons so was more than happy to share her knowledge with me before she left.
Watching Pip at work was mind-boggling. The speed at which she completed her work, the high level of her capabilities and her professionalism on air made me wonder how I could ever fill her shoes. Again, like the rest of the team, her patience in explaining all the processes was infinite and much appreciated.
Also a great personality, I was sorry we weren’t going to be working together for longer when she left last Friday.
There’s a couple of other ‘thank yous’ required here. My new starting hours mean waking up at 4.30am, so I’ve pretty much dropped the ball on the domestic front this past week while I focus on my new job. (Because I also very much welcome an afternoon nap to get me through!)
As a result, Fletch has taken over the running of the household – even to the point where he did most of the home prep work for a family gathering on the weekend to celebrate his OWN birthday! (And our daughter Veronica’s as well.) AND he hasn’t complained about the alarm going off at 4.30am. Or making school lunches.
Ever thought about ditching your house and that high-maintenance garden for the simplicity of inner-city apartment living? Interior decorator Toni Giannarelli wanted such a change and moved into her stunning Freshwater apartment in Melbourne a little more than a year ago.
It’s a spacious penthouse with floor-to-ceiling-windows in almost every room, offering breath-taking views of Melbourne and the city’s iconic landmarks.
It’s a stylish, fresh, modern interior which uses light tones, mirrors, silver and chrome to achieve its look of Hollywood glamour. But it wasn’t always the way. When Toni first moved in, the apartment walls were painted in dark colours, so she had it all re-done.
‘I wanted white to open up the place,’ said Toni ‘And the mirrors everywhere open it up even more. You get angles from the city reflecting in the mirrors which make it look even bigger.’
There’s a wonderful abstract painting of a grand piano in the dining room, which Toni cleverly placed at the opposite wall to the entrance, so you see the painting’s reflection when you first enter the room and can appreciate it again when seated at the table from the opposite direction.
The Hollywood feel is also brought about by the artwork – especially the piece in Toni’s study, based on the most famous female Hollywood icon of them all – Marilyn Monroe.
‘I commissioned the paintings from a friend of mine who owns Tutti Interiors. She has them commissioned by overseas artists who live in colonies,’ said Toni. ‘I just sketched up a few ideas and asked them to base the paintings on these and it worked beautifully.’
Toni’s taste hasn’t always focused on a modern look. Her last home was filled with antique furniture and knick-knacks. ‘Because I had an antique, timber look in my last house, I really wanted to go with a completely different design,’ she said.
‘Something more contemporary. Fresh for Freshwater,’ she said with a laugh. ‘And you can add colour to the room with accessories, like I have in one of my daughter’s rooms with the Missoni cushions. Overall, it’s a minimalist, clean look. It’s great not to have all those ornaments around which were just dust collectors.’
So how has the change from a home with a garden, to living in an apartment been? Toni describes it as liberating. ‘I love it. There’s less maintenance and I still have a garden on the tenth floor with nearly an acre of land, a pool and BBQ. And there’s the promenade at Southbank. Plus the security gives me peace of mind.’
As I was leaving, I noticed one collectable that came from Toni’s last home that she wasn’t able to give up. It’s an antique clock that was commissioned by the city of Paris for the capital’s annual art show back in 1890. It’s the one designer nod to her past. Given its exceptional beauty, it’s a completely understandable inclusion!
I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets but not so much my own. Which is why the past few weeks have been difficult – knowing it was likely I’d be starting a new career path very shortly and not being able to tell many people about it.
Thank goodness all was signed and sealed last Friday and then just yesterday, the lovely Luke Dennehy from the Sunday Herald Sun, ran this piece in the Confidential column, explaining all…
That sent off a wonderful chain of events, resulting in a busy day for myself on Twitter and Facebook and answering all manner of texts and emails. How lucky am I to have so many friends and associates who sent on all those fantastic messages of support! Thank you everyone!
To add to the above article, I would like to say that, yes, it has been great to work on other creative projects over the past few years, but lately I have also been missing that buzz you get from being involved in day-to-day news. So this opportunity at smoothfm couldn’t have come at a better time.
I love the immediacy of radio and the frequency of the updates at Smooth, means I’ll be bringing listeners the most up-to-date information possible. I’ll also be working alongside Mike Perso who’s extremely experienced and I’m sure will help me through my L-plates phase on-air, so that’s very reassuring.
I’m replacing the lovely Pip Mooney, who is leaving to spend more time with her young family and take on a new role as Media and Communications Manager for Lifeview Residential. Good luck, Pip! You’ve left big shoes to fill…
It really feels like this job is ‘meant to be’. My first official day on air will be March 31st which is exactly the same date I started at Ten many years ago, so I think that’s a good omen. I’ve honestly been a Smooth listener for some time now so to be offered a job with them is just fantastic. I love the music they play and the positive vibe that Smooth generates.
I’m not normally an early morning person, so that will present a few challenges I’m sure, but I’m so excited to be starting this job that, for the first time in my life, I’ll be looking forward to getting up early!
There are also a couple of other bonuses. One – I won’t have to make school lunches anymore. YAY!
And Two – I won’t have to wear a full-face of heavy make-up and worry about a single strand of hair being out of place while I deliver the news in the morning. Phew.
That doesn’t mean I’ll be any less professional in my news delivery. It’ll just be easier wearing a ponytail!
So tune in on Thursday when Pip is going to guide me through my first on-air radio news delivery and then I’ll be taking over solo from NEXT Monday.
And I’ll keep you updated here with how I’m faring with those early starts… Wish me luck!
