You all loved the blogs about my muffin-top experiment so much that I’ve decided I really should get off my butt and try another beauty treatment – just to keep you entertained. I mean, heck, it’s not like I CARE what I look like, or anything??? All in the name of duty, right?
It just seems that’s there’s so MUCH stuff out there about how to improve our faces and bodies – how do we actually sift the good from the shonky and know what actually works?
Jocelyn Wildenstein
Don’t go thinking I’m going to turn into some kind of Jocelyn Wildenstein, though. I do understand the meaning of restraint. And just in case I went all silly, I KNOW Fletch would pull me into line. He even hates lipstick. To the point that he WIPED HIS MOUTH after kissing me at the alter during our wedding. The shame…
Luckily the kind folk at the Liberty Belle Clinic in Toorak, where I underwent the Cool Sculpting process, are happy to help out, so I went along to check out the different procedures available.
Pelleve brochure
Looking through all their brochures, I learned there’s a helluva lot of different and NEW treatments available to improve ourselves that I’ve never heard of. I could easily hang around this clinic for years. After focusing so much on my tummy last year, I thought it was time my face got a bit of attention. When I saw this brochure with the line ‘A Fresher Face WiTHOUT Surgery’ – I snatched it up faster than you could say ‘Botox’. Because, yes, I have had Botox and I love it, but something new and different is always appealing. This treatment is called Pelleve.
I’m at that age where anything promoting WRINKLE REDUCTION warrants immediate attention, especially now those nasty lines around the neck region are becoming more prominent. Unfortunately, if I’m to blog about this, it means more humiliating photos of myself to show you what really happens….
Side profile – NO MAKE-UP!!!
So I have to show you a really ICKY close-up photo of my face without makeup, so you can get the gist. Ewww. These pics are taken by the lovely staff at Liberty Belle in the same photo room each time so the lighting is consistent too – very legit!! This snap was taken before my first treatment.
Before and after photos
But getting back to how Pelleve works… In the brochure, it explains how a metal probe is used over the skin – using gradual radio frequency that becomes quite hot at times – to stimulate the re-growth of collagen. The effect is not immediate and you really need about three treatments over a course of several months. But I’m assured it WILL work.
To give you a much better understanding of the science behind all this, I’m going to interview Dr Chris Moss (you met him last time, chatting about the Cool Sculpting fat freezing treatment) who will explain it properly. He’s a very busy man, but I’m going to nail him down in the next few weeks for the nitty gritty and get back to you. Then I’ll have some Pelleve sessions and, over time, we’ll see how my wrinkles go. (Away, I hope.)
(For further enquiries, contact the Liberty Belle Skin Centre on 9826 9988 Address: 504 – 506 Toorak Road, Toorak)
For most writers, the dream begins at an early age. That burning desire to create a book that you’ll one day hold in your hands – physical proof you’ve achieved your goal of becoming a published author. It’s the validation most writers seek that their words really do have some merit.
These days it’s harder than ever to have a book published that’s printed on paper. The increasing popularity of e-books is taking a toll on many a writer’s dream. All the more reason for author Ailsa Piper to be celebrating, with news this week that her first book, Sinning Across Spain, is to be re-released one year on, in the smaller B format, coming out in April.
But sometimes reality falls short of our dreams, so I’m curious to find out if Ailsa’s experience has lived up to expectations. Having a book published is also the start of a long journey – promotional commitments, signings at bookshops, media interviews, appearances at writers festivals – all very much a part of what needs to happen to generate a buzz about your book. Has it been everything she’d hoped for?
Author Ailsa Piper
‘It’s still continuing,’ said Ailsa. ‘The thing I didn’t realise, being a first-time author, is that it can be six months or a year and you think the book has done its dash, and then suddenly a letter comes in talking about it transforming someone’s life or you’re invited to another writers festival – so it’s been an amazing journey.’
As well, the subject matter of Ailsa’s book has led to some added complications. It’s a real-life account of her travels, hiking through north-west Spain and following a long-held tradition of carrying other’s sins to buy forgiveness. That’s not because Ailsa is deeply religious – rather she was exploring a spiritual concept to help her write a play, unaware at the time her experiences would end up becoming a successful book.
Sinning Across Spain‘Because this book is about confession, people have made a decision on some level that I’m the vault and can keep secrets, so they tell me extraordinary things. In fact, in the last few months, because of the royal commission into sexual abuse and the fact that the book deals with someone’s whose brother committed suicide as a victim of abuse by a cleric – that has led to people telling me about the abuse of their children, their siblings… That’s been quite hard but I’m also very aware I’m privileged to receive their stories.’
I imagine that could be quite a lot for one person to carry. Is the weight of such stories sometimes too much to bear? ‘There was a day last year where I felt my heart would break because I had about six people at one book signing come up with those stories and then I came home and heard from someone I know, who had had a similar experience and it came very close to home. I don’t have much to offer except to listen, but I’ve come to understand that listening is not a bad thing. It’s small thing, but it’s something.’
But the subject of abuse is just one of many issues raised in the book. In fact, Ailsa says she’s often surprised by the number of ways readers have interpreted her work. ‘It depends on the reader,’ she said. ‘Some people read it just for the story about the Camino and there are people who read it because they love the poetic nature of the descriptions about landscape and Spain. Others go into the morality side of things. It reminds me that a book is co-written by the reader, in a way that has really surprised me. One person’s experience of the book can be completely different to another’s.’
Ailsa at the Bryon Bay Writers FestivalPart of the book’s success has led to Ailsa being invited to many writers festivals – definitely an upside of sinning. In the past year, she’s been part of festivals at Airey’s Inlet, Byron Bay, Daylesford, Perth, Denmark and Albany. Next on the agenda is the Sydney Writers Festival in May. The main benefit of these, says Ailsa, is that they open the book up to an audience who may not have known about it.
I’m sure part of the reason for Ailsa’s book finding such a broad audience is that it appeals to those interested in pursuing a spiritual quest that isn’t necessarily religious in the traditional sense. Ailsa herself was brought up as a Catholic, but her parents divorced when she was little, and she was never forced to go to church.
‘I loved all the rituals – the candles, the incense – I still love all that. But I was always angry I couldn’t be an altar girl and that thing about a woman’s place in the church was frustrating, so I had skepticism from early on. I wanted to believe, but kept questioning things. Even on the walk, I wanted to believe and that’s why I kept going to churches. I really do envy people who have their faith.’
For myself, I found the book satisfying in that Ailsa’s long and arduous quest in Spain does lead to a form of spiritual realisation. I don’t want to give away the ending, but I think it’s something many will relate to. And it doesn’t mean you’ll feel any pressure to get to church every Sunday. But you might want to put on your walking shoes and appreciate the here and now, instead of trying to get to heaven.
A lot of hands have been groping at my breasts lately. And I’m not talking about my husband’s. Sometimes the world sends you plenty of signals that there’s something you need to do, so I did it, and suddenly my breasts are the focus of much attention. Here’s why.
Me and Sam Johnson
Recently I’ve been surrounded by health issues. First there were stories of loss from heart disease at the St Vincent’s Hospital fundraiser. Then there was the farewell for Sam Johnson as he set off on his epic uni-cycle ride around Australia in support of his sister, Connie, who is suffering breast cancer. (Please donate at www,loveyoursister.org) Read Sam’s diaries there too – his words are truly inspiring, not to mention funny! And finally, a story about a young woman who died from cancer two weeks ago. She’d been engaged to get married but didn’t live long enough to make it to the altar so was dressed in her bridal gown at her funeral. That made me weep and I didn’t even know her.
Enough already. I realised it was time. I wasn’t completely sure when I’d last had a full health check, but it must have been more than ten years ago. And I’d never had a mammogram. (Thanks Sam for reminding us all to be ‘breast aware’) So I made an appointment with my local GP and the process began.
Dr Steve did the usual stuff – blood pressure, a long list of health questions and a urine test on the spot. Then there were referrals for a lung test (spirometry test) and blood test, to check liver, kidneys and cholesterol. Then he asked if I’d checked my breasts lately. I felt foolish saying ‘no’, but to be honest, it just isn’t something that occurs to me, despite knowing how important it is and hearing the constant reminders through advertising and health awareness programs.
Up on the table, he said and an examination got underway. I babbled away incessantly to distract myself from the embarrassment, but never for a moment thinking anything was likely to be wrong. So it was a little bit of a shock when he said that I should have a mammogram to investigate an ‘IRREGULARITY’ in my left breast.
AN IRREGULARITY???? REALLY??? What the frickin’ hell does that mean in real language? He reassured me it was ‘unlikely’ to be anything serious, but it was worth checking out.
Years of working under stressful situations as a newsreader or on the road as a journalist in terrifying situations have at least stood me in good stead in one regard. I’m well-trained at not panicking. Staying cool, calm and collected. On the outside.
On the inside, it’s a different matter. Nodding to Dr Steve and smiling, I said I was sure it would be fine, thanked him for being so thorough and left. Inside my head, thought patterns were going crazy at a million miles an hour.
There’s lots of questions you have to deal with internally. Should you tell anyone? It’s only an irregularity anyway and you don’t want family or friends to be alarmed for no reason. So I didn’t even tell Fletch for two days. I preferred trying to ignore the whole business. The timing was difficult too. I’d seen Dr Steve on a Friday and wasn’t able to have a mammogram till the following Wednesday. That meant FIVE full days of torturous ‘WHAT IF’ lines running through my brain like a broken record.
Mammogram machine
Having the actual mammogram was better than I’d expected. The sweet young girl putting me through my paces at the Cabrini Hospital in Brighton was warm and sympathetic and explained the process well. It still didn’t stop me feeling affronted when she did what she had to do – squeezing my boobs into place in the steel machine. Very unsexy. She then forewarned me not to be upset if she needed to ask for a second opinion, as that was quite common after the pictures had been taken.
Despite her explanation, of course I feared the worst when she frowned slightly and said in an over-bright voice, ‘Just going to check with the doctor. I’ll be back in a jiffy!’ It was a very long jiffy. One that I felt sure would seal my fate as a cancer victim.
After the mammogram, there was an ultrasound with another doctor. This would be the third person to manhandle my breasts. You really do start to feel like it’s open slather on your boobs. I thought about walking down the hospital corridor with an open shirt, calling on anyone who wanted to cop a feel, to go ahead.
For the ultrasound, a male doctor rubbed gel over my breasts before using a cold steel probe to circulate and look for what those ‘irregularities’ really meant. He ummed and ahhed, but said it seemed the patch under concern seemed to be showing a couple of tiny cysts that were nothing to worry about. I started to feel relieved but also wished he could try sounding a little more positive.
When all was done, I was sent on my way after being told I was ‘probably’ in the clear. For me, ‘probably’ was good, but not good enough. I was keen to hear the final verdict from Dr Steve. That meant waiting another day until he received the results from the hospital.
The upshot is this. Dr Steve thinks that I’m probably okay. God, I hate that word. But he does want me to see another breast specialist. Really, I said? I mean, if the mammogram is clear, then I’m okay, right? Why do I need yet ANOTHER doctor to be groping my frickin’ breasts? Well, it will make ME feel okay, he said. Great. So I’m off to ANOTHER boob man in two weeks. That’s how long it takes to get in to see a specialist.
So that’s why I haven’t been blogging so much lately. I’ve busy hanging out with my boobs. I’m sure we’ll be okay, but I will let you know, hopefully FOR SURE, in a couple of weeks.
It was the Diet Coke getting his revenge… He knew what I was going to write about him. One minute I was grabbing three cans out of the laundry fridge for a Blog photo – the next, ‘Take this, lady!’ – he jumped out of my fingers and crashed to the floor.
KERBOOM!!!!
A laundry explosionI had no idea one can of Diet Coke held that much nasty fluid. Sticky stuff flew everywhere, and right up high on the opposite cupboards too, even though it’s hard to see from the photo. Great. That took at least half an hour to clean. And just when I was getting keen on the idea of blogging again too.
Aeroplane Jelly
What really sparked this story was the hot summer weather. As many of you may know, I’ve been writing about going sugar-free this year – (apart from wine, of course) – and am always looking for fresh options to satisfy cravings for treats. So today I thought I’d take the quick and easy route, whip up some jelly and whack it in the fridge.
Jelly ingredients
Even though the packet says ‘low calorie’, I checked the back nutrition panel for an ingredients check and was delighted to see ZERO sugar content. BUT all the chemicals listed did give me cause for concern.
Especially because a doctor friend was recently voicing an opinion that he believes aspartame and other chemical sweeteners are contributing to an increasing number of patients with neurological and immunological diseases – not to mention cancer and multiple sclerosis. Normally I just brush aside those concerns, but today I thought I might take a closer look.
The Chemical MazeSo I reached for a small manual that hides away in a kitchen cupboard – the sort of thing you buy, intending to study up on and never do. It’s called ‘The Chemical Maze‘ by Bill Statham and is a really handy guide to all the potential risks posed by various additives and chemicals.
Well, smack me down with a wet fish if this didn’t accord with my doctor’s theories! Here’s what The Chemical Maze has to say about just two of the chemicals in Aeroplane Jelly:
952 CYCLAMATES, Cyclamic Acid: (artificial sweetener) – “Should be avoided by those with heart, circulation or liver problems: causes bladder cancer in rats, various skin conditions and migraines.” Nice.
955 SUCRALOSE (Splenda): (artificial sweetener) – “May lead to chronic neurological and immunological disorders; caused enlarged kidneys and liver in animals.”
Evil Diet CokeYikes. That sweet looking jelly doesn’t seem quite so appealing now… So what about Diet Coke? I ran to the laundry to grab a few cans and that’s when one of them chucked a tantrum and exploded, knowing full well I was going to diss him. Yep, sure enough, chock full of Aspartame. Described like this in my handy guide:
951 ASPARTAME (Nutrasweet, Equal): Potential health effects – Cancer, asthma, MS-like symptoms, headaches, hyperactivity, fatigue, anxiety, dizziness, migraine, memory loss, depression, insomnia, irritability, impotence, epilepsy, blindness, diabetes, seizures plus at least 80 others.
That does it. From now on, I am going to HAVE to ditch sugar substitutes AS WELL as sugar!!!!
Summer drink of choice – fresh lime and soda
From now on, my preferred cool drink on a sweltering day (apart from a damn fine chardonnay) will be a refreshing soda with fresh lime juice.
Sugar free butter candy drops
Sadly I went to my treats drawer in my office to ditch my supplies. I picked up my favourite Double D Sugar Free Butter Candy Drops and looked at the back of the packet, expecting to see another nasty list of ingredients. But no. The only suspect was ISOMALT.
Again I check The Chemical Maze.
953 ISOMALT: (Humectant artificial sweetener) – MAY CAUSE INTESTINAL GAS!!!
Oh joy! Now that’s one kind of explosion I CAN live with.
