I know I’m superstitious and love believing in ‘signs’ when they suit, but sometimes the universe really DOES seem to be sending a message you can’t ignore.
Just last month, a wise woman in New Orleans told me I needed to reboot certain creative aspects in my life. I couldn’t agree more. The writing, painting and music passions have dwindled away in the past year as life’s problems and repetitive domesticity eat into the hours that could have been spent at the piano or easel.
Then two weeks ago another wise counsellor told me to look for ‘inspiration’ and to do what truly makes me happy when being creative.
AND to truly drive the message home, I turned up at a cocktail function last Thursday night where I won a prize. This wasn’t just any old prize like a meat tray at a school fete – but a seriously beautiful piece of art.
Fletch and I had been invited to a glamorous cocktail party at the SOFITEL Hotel, celebrating the upcoming DIOR Exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria – DIOR – 70 Years of Haute Couture.
The hotel’s talented sommeliers designed cocktails inspired by Dior’s most famous creations. This one in particular, cradling a frozen ball in rosewater in Creme de Violette and Grey Goose Le Citron, was a work of art in itself.
But what really caught my eye was a young woman, painting a fashion illustration in the corner. Estelle had been enlisted to produce a work inspired by a famous Dior gown, that would be won by a lucky guest at the party. Her hands worked quickly and confidently, bringing the garment to life with a sweep of the brush, transforming fashion into art and creating a work of beauty.
Turns out it was my lucky night. My name was announced as the winner and I couldn’t have been more delighted.
So the Easter holidays came and went in a flash – where does time go when you enter that rarified holiday zone where deadlines don’t exist and school lunches don’t need to be made?
All too soon we’re all back at work and the kids are back at school. But now I’m working at smoothfm on Mike Perso’s More Music Breakfast Show, that all-vexing dilemma of what to put in the kids lunch boxes is no longer mine. Lucky me!
Fletch, bless him, is doing a sterling job catering to the families needs and I was very chuffed to come home from work yesterday to find he’d even been baking, so as to avoid giving the kids the mass produced chemical-filled products for lunch. Definitely a five-star Dad.
These biscuits, which are made from my Grandmother’s original recipe, are a bit like muesli bars, but even better. They’re also like a version of an Anzac biscuit, so it’s a timely recipe given April 25th is just about on our doorstep.
They are so delicious, a fresh batch rarely lasts in the cake tin for more than a couple of days. I also took a tub of them into work two weeks ago and they vanished in a flash.
So given the Honey Oatbars massive popularity, I thought it only fair that I share the recipe with you. You might want to whip up a batch for yourself just in time for Anzac Day. (FYI, I always double the quantities)
HONEY OATBARS RECIPE
Ingredients:
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup sultanas
1/2 cup wholemeal self-raising flour
1/2 cup raw sugar
1/2 cup desiccated coconut
1 tablespoon of honey
150g butter
Method:
Combine oats, sultanas, flour, sugar and coconut in a basin. Melt butter and honey in a small saucepan, then mix into the dry ingredients until the mixture clings together. Press evenly into an oven tray. Bake in a moderate oven (180) for 15 – 20 minutes until golden. Cut when hot, but wait until cool to remove from the tray.
See – very simple, but VERY yummy! Now my only problem is that the kids think Dad cooks better Honey Oatbars than me. Seriously? Just because my last batch was a little over-cooked? They were still popular….
But I have to agree. Anything cooked by someone else ALWAYS tastes better! Thank you Fletch.
You’d think that would have been enough public humiliation for husband Fletch to give up his addiction to Internet shopping site Catch of the Day – but NOOooooo…
Only last week, another domestic appliance arrived to clutter up the laundry cupboard. (In case you were wondering, that was the last time he used that useless steam mop.)
Not just ANY ironing board. It’s a REVOLUTIONARY SPLIT ADJUSTABLE IRONING BOARD!! Well, that’s what they called it on Catch of the Day’s website.
Apparently, having two ‘arms’ instead of just ONE plank to iron on, helps save time and energy, makes ironing an absolute joy and sends masses of endorphins pumping through your veins. I wish. Ironing would have to be my most hated domestic chore, so I would have welcomed something to ease the pain, but this device doesn’t do anything of the sort.
In fact, contrary to its claims, it’s a complete and utter piece of crap. I tried it. Shirtsleeves do not fit over the arms – like it claims – because they are too fat. The clamp in the middle takes twice as long to hold a collar in it to iron than doing the damn thing in the old-fashioned way, PLUS it’s a good metre shorter than the old faithful ironing board that we’ve had for twelve years and never had a problem with in the first place.
But the ‘piece de resistance’ of this contraption, is what happens when you put the arms together for ironing. Instead of a SMOOTH plank, you have a crevice down the middle, so that anything you attempt to iron ends up looking MORE crumpled than when you began. It’s hilarious that anyone could have thought this would be a good idea in the first place.
You might think I’m being unreasonable and ungrateful, but I challenge you to try one yourself. Actually, don’t. You’d just be wasting your hard-earned cash. And I am appreciative that Fletch thinks these gadgets can in some way make life in the Fletcher household rosier, but I’m of the view that we need to start getting RID of STUFF, rather than accumulating MORE.
Like the useless Beldray steam mop, I placed the said crappy ironing board in his office for him to ‘RETURN TO SENDER’. No such luck. It’s found a home next to the steam mop, on top of the ever-growing chaos inside our laundry cupboard.
So please, Fletch, NO MORE Catch of the Day super specials. And can you book a hard rubbish collection before Christmas???
Being the long weekend, I decided to take a day off like everyone else. Instead of slaving over an opinion piece, I thought I’d relax and put up a picture essay instead. And that’s because Fletch did all the hard work, taking shots at the Riva Snow Party last night and they’ve come up a treat.
Full credit to Riva owner Drewe Bellmaine who organised a brilliant night. Using a wonderful collection of props, he created a magical winter wonderland with REAL snow from snow machines, inflatable igloos, giant snowmen and icy cocktails – all making for a sensational party. Guests dressed appropriately in ski gear and there were also a couple of snow bunnies hopping about. Just like being in Aspen without having to go anywhere. Take a peek!
Even after centuries years of marriage, I sometimes still have cause to look at Fletch in amazement, shake my head and say ‘Really? Seriously? I mean, you REALLY, even now, still don’t GET me?’
I mean, he couldn’t understand me, could he? Not when I only find out LAST NIGHT that while he was swanning around at the British TV Awards last week he met and had a photograph with MR BIG. Yes… THE Mr Big, of Sex and the City fame. AND he FORGOT to tell me!!!
Mr Big (aka Chris Noth) and Fletch at the British Soap Awards
How in a zillion years could you forget to relate such a momentous meeting?
Me, who has always been such a HUGE Sex and The City fan. Me, who has the entire box set of every series, who adores Sarah Jessica Parker, who aspired to be my own version of Carrie and who obsessed over Mr Big for years?
Not even a phone call on the night? He could have passed the phone to my fantasy beloved and we could finally have had a REAL conversation??
Seriously peeved. But that’s fine. He can have a ball, kicking up his heels with the rich and famous in London… because I can make my own fun. And I will. I’m heading off to a winery now for a VERY long lunch. Let’s see how that goes….
(And yes, I have AGAIN failed to stick to my Blogging schedule as today was SUPPOSED to be Fashion Friday Blog, but I needed to vent. In fact, I think a signature of my Blogs will be the footnotes at the end of each story, explaining and justifying WHY I haven’t stuck to my own Grand Plan, yet again. And again. Well, the art of rationalisation is something to be admired, isn’t it??)
I was thrilled to see a girlfriend’s name pop up on the mobile this morning and very much enjoyed our half hour chat. Especially as it’s been a bit of a bugbear for me lately that people just AREN’T making the effort when it comes to communication.
We lead such busy lives, that often it’s easier to just send a text or an email. But nothing beats a REAL conversation. Dry words on an electric device just don’t carry the same depth and meaning and can often lead to mis-communication.
Take this example last week when I received a text message from a girlfriend in the UK after she spied Fletch making an appearance on a TV show over there.
‘No email, no text. He just turns up on Loose Women. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be Okay.’
Wow – my eyebrows to nearly hit the ceiling. My first reaction was – ‘Of course, she’s joking.’ But what if she wasn’t? What if she was genuinely offended we hadn’t let her know Fletch was heading over there?
And that’s the problem with text messages – there’s no TONE in them. We can’t hear the sarcasm, the dry irony, the jesting voice – and that’s where the miscommunication comes in. Luckily in this instance our lovely friend was OF COURSE joking, but it did give me cause for a few unsettled moments until we clarified the issue.
Likewise, I’ve been told by a few friends lately that I need to be a better blogging communicator – that I need to have a BLOG PLAN so that readers know what to expect from this website. They want a clearer picture of what’s coming up on which day.
Point taken. I get that. And especially as you may have noticed some new advertising at the top and bottom of these posts, I’m aiming to put in more effort to make this magazine-style Blog a more professional venture.
A promise to my readers to kick off with – I vow NEVER to allow POP-UP advertising on this website. I abhor those.
I can’t promise to post a Blog every day – (even Fletch thinks that’s overkill) – but I’ll try to stick to a certain theme or topic for each day of the week. So the Blog Plan I propose is this:
MONDAY – A feature interview or opinion piece on a topical issue
TUESDAY – A light-hearted look at life or a family story
WEDNESDAY – Beauty tips or a review of the latest products
THURSDAY – Health forum, dietary advice and recipes
FRIDAY – Fashion review and Internet shopping tips
SATURDAY AND SUNDAY – Most likely rest days, but if I’ve been to a fun social event, I’ll post pics here and call it The Social Pages.
SO that’s the plan. Stay tuned to see how it pans out. But right now, isn’t there someone you need to phone?
If you’re anything like me, then the mere thought of visiting that massive maze IKEA, leaves you reaching for the whiskey bottle. I’d rather watch Tony Abbott attempting a Baywatch sprint along the beach in his budgie smugglers than go anywhere near the place. (Actually, that might be overstating it a tad…)
Past experience has taught me that you never escape IKEA in less than two hours, by which stage you’re tearing your hair out with frustration after getting stuck in the maze that is its furniture display area, fighting through harried crowds of similarly frustrated customers, then arriving home with a load of junk you never intended buying and swearing you’ll never go back. It’s even worse than trying to shop at an Aldi supermarket.
Fletch with fellow Neighbours actors Saskia Hampele
With Fletch being in the UK, I decided to freshen up his office to surprise him on his return. (It’s okay – he’s on a plane now so won’t read this before getting home.) After much research, the best option for a new rug – taking price, size and colour into account – was… sadly… IKEA.
A bit unfair when you think about it. He flies overseas, swanning around presenting prizes at the British Soap Awards while I get stuck with a visit to IKEA.
But the desire to renovate was stronger than my IKEA-phobia, so I decided not to let the place defeat me. I’d make a cunning plan and come out tops.
And GUESS WHAT? The plan actually WORKED!! I managed to get in and out of that vast wasteland of consumerism in FIFTEEN MINUTES. I was very up myself about this record-breaking feat, so tweeted the fact and was met with a big reaction – meaning LOTS of you guys related to the trauma of an IKEA visit. So I thought it best to Blog my tips to help you all when you next take the plunge.
IKEA SURVIVAL TIPS
1. Do your research before heading to the store. Jump on the Internet and work out which items you need and write down the details. Then phone the store to check they are in stock.
2. Do not take small children with you.
3. Wear runners – not heels – you need to make some quick crowd-busting moves.
4. Try to plan your trip mid-week when fewer customers will be vying for attention from sales staff.
5. Accost the front-of-store help-person on arrival to verify the location of the goods you’re looking for. If you’re in luck, you can TAKE A SHORT CUT and head straight to the MARKET HALL section, by-passing the entire furniture display area. This will save you at least half an hour. I was in luck yesterday as all I needed was a rug.
6. If you can’t see your item immediately, accost another sales person to help you otherwise you’ll waste precious time wandering around.
7. DO NOT STOP to look at any other items that grab your attention. They are NOT on your list. STICK TO YOUR LIST.
8. When you have all your items, head to the self-checkout service section, which is much, MUCH quicker than queuing for a checkout assistant to process your purchases.
And what a difference the rug made to Fletch’s office. Just over a year ago, we’d rearranged rooms and somehow, he’d ended up with an old faded, stained pink rug that used to be in Veronica’s room when she was little. Well past it’s use-by date…
What an improvement! A clean, cream rug to lighten up a dull space. And it was on sale too.
And in case you’re wondering, yes, that is a spare bed in his office. Just in case he’s in the doghouse or snoring too loudly. A girl’s got to be prepared…
Sometimes the logistics of running a family get tricky. For instance, what happens if your husband has bought a ticket to a Neil Young concert this weekend (in Geelong) and then at the same time, you’re offered an amazing weekend away along the Great Ocean Road, staying at an up-market beach property overlooking the sea, to cover the Airey’s Inlet Music Festival – but your teen daughter needs DESPERATELY to go to a party in Melbourne and your son is playing in an all-important school cricket match???
Hmmm… As I said, tricky. Plus, this weekend happens to be our 23rd wedding anniversary. Which we celebrated in fine style at Ezard’s restaurant in the city last night. Definitely one of Melbourne’s best on every level. I was particularly impressed that they noted it was a special occasion and decorated our desserts to suit.
But back to this weekend. Often my amazing Mum and step-father help out with the kids, but as it turns out, my older brother had already booked their services… So Fletch, bless him, realised this was a great blogging opportunity for me and gave up his ticket to see Mr Young to stay home and ferry the kids about to their various commitments. What a guy!!!
THAT IS WHY FLETCH GETS A HUGE GOLD STAR THIS WEEKEND.
This ALSO left me free to turn this into a ‘girl’s weekend’ and invite along a few mates for a break from domestic and kiddie duties. And yes, they were pretty happy with the offer to head down to one of Victoria’s most picturesque holiday locations for an uber cool music festival AND stay at a beautiful holiday home.
Driving down to Airey’s Inlet, I had to stop along the way and marvel at the view from the Great Ocean Road. Truly stunning, isn’t it? As a child, I was lucky enough to enjoy several family holidays at Fairhaven, just up the road from Airey’s Inlet, so it felt a bit like going home.
Erin Hughes, from Great Ocean Retreats sorts us out
I dropped in to Great Ocean Retreats to pick up our keys and was mighty impressed with their organisational talents. Marketing manager Erin Hughes had printed lanyards for the music festival ready and waiting, printed directions to our property with the keys AND she had even found out what wine I liked and told me TWO BOTTLES of chardonnay plus a cheese platter were in the fridge waiting for us. Tick, tick and DOUBLE tick. I knew from the moment I met her she was my kinda gal!
Then we set off to the house and found a magnificent two storey property, with double-bedrooms both upstairs and downstairs, two bedrooms with bunks for the kids we left behind, and two living areas. Both double bedrooms also come with their own massive ensuite bathrooms.
The kitchen is modern and open-plan, with wonderful wide benches, which would be brilliant if we actually wanted to cook, but no, maybe next time… There’s too many bands to see down here to waste time slaving over a hot stove.
Even better, most of the bands are playing at the Airey’s Inlet Pub which JUST HAPPENS to be a stone’s throw from our beachside mansion!!! Now ain’t that a happy coincidence… Oh yes, the house is also walking distance from the beach too. Of course.
I’m going to show you more pictures and give you the lowdown on the music festival on Monday, but for now, I want to get to the pub and enjoy myself. And if you haven’t got anything planned for tomorrow, jump in the car and head on down. Cheers!
You all loved the blogs about my muffin-top experiment so much that I’ve decided I really should get off my butt and try another beauty treatment – just to keep you entertained. I mean, heck, it’s not like I CARE what I look like, or anything??? All in the name of duty, right?
It just seems that’s there’s so MUCH stuff out there about how to improve our faces and bodies – how do we actually sift the good from the shonky and know what actually works?
Don’t go thinking I’m going to turn into some kind of Jocelyn Wildenstein, though. I do understand the meaning of restraint. And just in case I went all silly, I KNOW Fletch would pull me into line. He even hates lipstick. To the point that he WIPED HIS MOUTH after kissing me at the alter during our wedding. The shame…
Luckily the kind folk at the Liberty Belle Clinic in Toorak, where I underwent the Cool Sculpting process, are happy to help out, so I went along to check out the different procedures available.
Looking through all their brochures, I learned there’s a helluva lot of different and NEW treatments available to improve ourselves that I’ve never heard of. I could easily hang around this clinic for years. After focusing so much on my tummy last year, I thought it was time my face got a bit of attention. When I saw this brochure with the line ‘A Fresher Face WiTHOUT Surgery’ – I snatched it up faster than you could say ‘Botox’. Because, yes, I have had Botox and I love it, but something new and different is always appealing. This treatment is called Pelleve.
I’m at that age where anything promoting WRINKLE REDUCTION warrants immediate attention, especially now those nasty lines around the neck region are becoming more prominent. Unfortunately, if I’m to blog about this, it means more humiliating photos of myself to show you what really happens….
So I have to show you a really ICKY close-up photo of my face without makeup, so you can get the gist. Ewww. These pics are taken by the lovely staff at Liberty Belle in the same photo room each time so the lighting is consistent too – very legit!! This snap was taken before my first treatment.
But getting back to howPelleve works… In the brochure, it explains how a metal probe is used over the skin – using gradual radio frequency that becomes quite hot at times – to stimulate the re-growth of collagen. The effect is not immediate and you really need about three treatments over a course of several months. But I’m assured it WILL work.
To give you a much better understanding of the science behind all this, I’m going to interview Dr Chris Moss (you met him last time, chatting about the Cool Sculpting fat freezing treatment) who will explain it properly. He’s a very busy man, but I’m going to nail him down in the next few weeks for the nitty gritty and get back to you. Then I’ll have some Pelleve sessions and, over time, we’ll see how my wrinkles go. (Away, I hope.)
(For further enquiries, contact the Liberty Belle Skin Centre on 9826 9988 Address: 504 – 506 Toorak Road, Toorak)
If there are two things in life that are certain – death and taxes – then I’d like to add to that list. Two things that certainly NEVER get finished – housework and emails. When life gets busy, these two everyday, necessary chores are the bugbear of my life. Increasingly so…. And they both have a lot in common.
They can be ignored, but they pile up, weighing on your conscience. And the longer you leave tackling them, the bigger and more daunting they appear.
I used to be much more responsible on both fronts. When I worked at Ten, I had a set period of time where I would deal with emails and because I had a routine, I managed to deal with them all. But then I was juggling only one job. Now, wearing several hats, the email input is busier than ever and life has less structure in terms of dealing with it.
I became weary of being the one person I knew who emailed everyone back ‘straight away’. It became a reflex. Even at home. Hear the email ‘ping’ on your phone, and there I was, tapping away a reply instantly. I became frustrated if others didn’t do the same. So now, I’ve decided to be like everyone else and take my time. Not do emails on the weekend, because hey, everyone needs a break, don’t they?
I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. Right now I can see 109 emails in my inbox… Perhaps I should go back to being ‘Responsible Jen’?
Emails are also like housework in that they both invoke a feeling of Groundhog Day Syndrome. As soon you THINK you’ve finished, sit back smiling with a wine in hand, the computer pings or you spy a cobweb in the corner and it’s time to begin all over again.
It’s just like Joan Rivers says. ‘I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.’ Okay, so I don’t leave it six months between the washing up cycles, but it feels like every day the list of chores in my head grows longer and more tedious.
Like housework, emails don’t care if you’re going through a busy patch. They don’t stop and say, ‘Hang on, Jen’s under the pump. Let’s lay off a bit.’ Oh no, they just keep growing and growing, turning into a bigger, dirtier pile than ever that you have to deal with once that other busy stuff is done.
We used to have cleaners, but more than a year ago decided to ditch that idea. With me not ‘officially’ working, it seemed indulgent, especially when they took such long ciggie breaks outside, turned up late and there was the constant pressure of having to ‘tidy up for the cleaners’. It just wasn’t worth the trouble.
To his credit, Fletch does more than his fair share of the household chores. Ever since I started this Blogging caper, I’ve been scampering upstairs to my office, pronouncing I have a ‘very important’ blog to write and letting the housework slide. He’s picked up the slack without complaint. But as I tap away and hear him washing the dishes downstairs, I do start to feel guilty. He doesn’t lay a guilt trip on me either, which makes it worse. He really needs to develop a few flaws.
To combat the guilt factor, I actually pulled out the vacuum this morning and decided a full spring clean of the bedroom was required. I’m talking vacuuming BEHIND the bed-head and getting on a ladder to dust the light fitting!! Impressed? I was.
And the funny thing was that as I cleaned away, slightly resentful of the boring tasks at hand, I was hit with some fab blogging ideas.
So perhaps there is an upside to this housework burden after all? Perhaps cleaning can be a source of creative inspiration? I might even tackle the rumpus room tomorrow. If this keeps up, I’ll be Australia’s answer to Martha Gardner before the week’s out. Watch this space.
