SHOULD A GIANT CRIMINAL MARK GATEWAY TO MELBOURNE

It was an appropriate venue – The Toff In The Town – to hold the annual Ned Kelly Awards, celebrating Australia’s best crime writers, as part of the Melbourne Writers Festival. From the outside, a dingy old building that hides secrets within. Even the 1950s tiled stairwell, cracked and stained, doesn’t prepare you for what lies ahead. A lush dark red restaurant with private dining booths lurks on the second level, boasting  a surprisingly good menu and great reviews. Then on the third, a dimly lit bar and band room oft sought after by high profile musicians wanting to play for an intimate audience.

It was here – the room dotted with small round tables and groups gathering in dark corners and hiding in the back shadows – that the Ned Kelly Awards got underway on Wednesday evening.

Jane Clifton, as MC, kept the night ticking over with witty banter between each of the main awards. It was noted by one presenter that the awards get bigger and better each year, proving that crime writing is indeed flourishing in Melbourne.

The Giant Pineapple

Hence the suggestion we build a huge ‘CRIMINAL’ figure at the gateway to the city – in keeping with other giant monuments around the country such as the Giant Pineapple, Giant Avocado, Giant Banana or Giant Blue Heeler. Yep, I reckon that’d be a sure-fire winner with the tourists…. But which crim would we pick? And where would he or she be placed? I think I’d rather just list the award winners than put my personal safety at risk by guessing and offending God-knows-who.

 

Author Peter Twohig